As I was coming into the Catholic Church, one of the hardest things for me to fully wrap my mind around was the issue of Mary. For nearly thirty years, I hardly spoke or thought about her. She was mentioned at Christmas time but that was about it. I didn’t contemplate that she might love me, I didn’t reflect on the magnitude of her participation in our salvation, and I sure didn’t pray to her. Mary was nothing but a background figure to me.
But, when you enter the Catholic Church, you can’t help but be inundated by her. At first, when I converted, I thought to myself, “I’ll just set all this Mary stuff to the side.” It felt so unnatural to include her in my spiritual life. To be honest, it felt unnatural to include any of the saints or angels.
For most Protestants, all that matters is your personal relationship with Jesus. It’s just you and God. The consequence of this belief is that numerous spiritual practices get pushed to the side or dropped completely. For example, some believe they don’t need to go to church because they can just be with Jesus out in nature. “Jesus is always with me in my heart.” Many reject the idea of having relationships with the saints, angels, and Mary because they don’t see a need for them. Then, God forbid, there’s the fear that saints, angels, or Mary will get held up as an idol.
But, should we have a relationship with Mary?
Yes, we should and here’s why.
Jesus could have come into the world in any way He wanted but He chose to come through a woman. Why? Well, if you want to show that you are truly human, you come into the world just like the rest of us. You grow in a mother’s womb, are birthed into the world, nurse at her chest, snuggle in her arms, let her dry your tears, hear her comforting voice, and let her love you. As the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity, Christ had always had God the Father and the love they shared. Maybe in His Divine Plan, God wanted to come in a way that we all understand and experience–through a mother.
On the Cross, Jesus told the Apostle John, “Behold, your mother.” What was Jesus doing? Practically speaking, Jesus is handing on the care of His mother to John. In ancient times, a woman needed a man to take care of her, especially as she got on in years. That responsibility often fell to the woman’s sons if her husband was dead. Some Protestants will argue that Jesus had actual biological brothers, but if that is true why did Jesus not place Mary in the care of her other sons? If there were biological brothers, the logical thing to do would be to pass the care of Mary on to them. He didn’t, though, because we know that Mary lived with St. John until the end of her earthly life. “And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.” John 19:27
Let’s not be too quick to see this as simply some last-minute logistical issue that Jesus was clearing up on the Cross. We must look deeper at what Christ was doing. John was the only Apostle there at the Cross. All the others had run away in fear. In a way, John was the representative for all Christians that would come to be: He followed Jesus to the Cross, did not abandon Him in His suffering, and ignored his own security to be with Jesus. Jesus says to Mary, “Woman, behold your son” and to John, he says, “Behold, your mother.” John 19:26-27. In effect, what Christ did by giving His mother to John is to give her to us all.
But why did He give her to us? Who better to help you understand someone than a mother? A good mother always wants to talk about her children, show others how wonderful they are and they give that unique motherly perspective. Mary wants nothing more than to show us her Son. God shares every good thing with us and from the Cross, Jesus is sharing His Blessed Mother with us all. Christ gave her to us and she, in turn, wants to lead us to Him.
Our faith journey is not meant to be walked alone. We need the support and assurance of our earthly Christian brothers and sisters. Why wouldn’t we need that from Mary and the other saints in Heaven? If you are a true Christian and believe that those in Heaven are alive in Christ then that means they are available to us. The Body of Christ is made up of ALL faithful believers to include those in Heaven. Their prayers for us are even more efficacious in Heaven as they are in full communion with God and in complete alliance with His Will.
God gives us many gifts and graces to help us on our pilgrim journey and sometimes, along that path, you just need a mother’s love and guidance. As a Protestant, it was easy for me to ignore Mary because she was hardly ever discussed. The Catholic Church presented me with something I had never considered before–a relationship with Mary. Suddenly, I was faced with a choice: Do I continue to pay scant attention to her or welcome her into my spiritual life? I asked myself, “Would Jesus want me to ignore His own mother?” The conclusion I came to was that I knew He wouldn’t. What sense would that make? Christ loves and honors His mother and it is only fitting and right that we do the same. Obviously, we must never place her higher than God and the Catholic Church has never taught that Mary is like a god.
The truth is, is that any person can become an idol for us. I know plenty of people who idolize their children and place them at the center of the universe. There are people who idolize their spouses and marriage. Just ask yourself, how many people are looking forward to Heaven not because they will see God face-to-face but because they will possibly get to see their spouse? Plenty of people fall into this category. And let’s not get started on the idolization of famous people. As you can see, no matter who you are or the state of your relationship with God, it is always a temptation to idolize any other human being. It’s something we must always guard against.
But, to love and honor Mary as the mother of Our Lord does not mean idolization. Just because we have statues and pictures of her does not mean she is like the golden calf fashioned by the Israelites in the desert. We have plenty of statues of Founding Fathers, pivotal historical people, athletes, and great leaders all around us. We have them up because we are visual creatures who experience the world through our senses. It’s important for us to see the likeness of someone. Pictures and statues of Mary help raise our minds to her and ask her for her loving prayers.
Christ would never ask us to disregard His mother. You are not loving Christ more by ignoring her. To smugly think, “Well, I love Christ more fully because I only pay attention to Him” is nothing more than pride talking. After giving the matter much thought, I knew I could never stand in front of Christ and tell him that I wanted nothing much to do with His mother. I couldn’t imagine saying that to Him. The thing with love is that there is always room for more. Our worship and supreme adoration are for God alone; nothing comes before Him. If we love Him right, that love swells and grows within us thereby allowing us to love others rightly and well. If our love for God is prioritized first then all other love will be displayed properly.
Where I once struggled to talk about Mary or even acknowledge her, now I find myself often thinking of her and her relationship with Our Savior. As a mother myself, it gives me great comfort to look to Mary. She understands what it’s like to hurt for your child and want to rescue them from all pain. Some of the most moving scenes in The Passion of the Christ are the scenes with Mary and Jesus together. When she is at the foot of the Cross talking to Him, my heart literally aches with pain. How could she bear it? Immense love and supernatural graces, that’s how.
May is the month of Mary, Catholic Pilgrims. She is a good, good mother who only wants to draw us all to her Son so we can be with Him someday. No earthly person could ever help us reflect more on Christ than His own mother. Now is as good of a time as ever to ask her to show us how to love her Son more. She will be happy to show you.
