Back in December of last year, I asked my followers what they would like to see me write about. Someone asked me to touch on Confession. It’s taken me a long time to collect my thoughts on what I wanted to say. So much has been written about the Sacrament of Confession that I didn’t really know what the heck I could bring to the table, but I think I’m ready to offer my thoughts now.
When I was Protestant, I thought Confession was the stupidest practice of Catholics. I deemed it totally unnecessary. Why? Well, as I would tell my husband back then, “There is absolutely no reason to go to a priest! I can just confess my sins anywhere! I can just talk to God in my bedroom and confess my sins to Him! So stupid!”
I, also, didn’t think it was biblical. Mind you, I had barely read anything of the Bible and had done zero studying on the matter, but my pride told me that I knew it all. I basically thought it was just nosey priests trying to be all up in everyone’s business. How wrong I was.
Once I decided to become Catholic, I knew I was going to have to do my first Confession. Let me tell you, I was so uncomfortable the day before. I went through all my sins in my mind and tried to justify why I shouldn’t tell certain ones. As I was agonizing over my sins, I realized that what I didn’t want to do was say them out loud. I didn’t want to give voice to the things that I had done. It was
The day of my first Confession, I sat down across from the priest and I said, “Father, I have a very big sin to confess and I don’t know how to say it.”
He gently smiled at me and said back, “It’s okay, just start talking to Jesus.”
With that, I started in and as I confessed my big sin, tears streamed down my face. I had kept that sin inside for so, so long and once I started telling Christ how sorry I was, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. After I was done telling my sins, the priest laid his hand on my head and said the words of absolution. “May God give you pardon and peace and I absolve you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Go in peace, Child, your sins are forgiven.”
I will never forget how I felt after the priest said the words of absolution. It was like feeling the warmth of Christ envelope me. I truly knew that my sins were gone. In my mind, I see our souls like Link’s heart in Zelda. Each time we sin, the level of grace in our souls dwindles down. It’s not long before there is hardly any left and we, like Link, are barely alive–we are barely spiritually alive. Before going into my first Confession, I didn’t realize how low I was on grace. I had gotten used to what life felt like without it. However, after my confession, grace poured back into my soul because my soul was cleansed of sin. I felt so alive and renewed. It was such a great feeling.
Today, I hear many people argue against Confession just like I did many years ago. I was naive and ignorant about the whole thing back in the day. I had no idea what was going on in the confessional. I just thought I knew. I see now why Christ wanted us to confess our sins to priests. It makes our sins all the more real. We have to confront them and face them. Only when we truly face our sins can we work to change them. It is so easy for us when we “confess” our sins in our head to God to just give ourselves a pass. Not everyone gives themselves a pass, but the majority do. We use vague language and tend to gloss over the gravity of them. But, in front of a priest, we can’t do that. We have to call them out by name and that’s tough stuff. It’s like a mirror is held up in front of our face and we have to deal with them. It’s much harder but so very necessary.
To be sure, the Church teaches us that we can confess our sins at any time and any place. If you commit a sin, you can say an Act of Contrition in your head right away. However, if you’ve had the misfortune to commit a mortal sin, you do need to get to confession right away. Why? Because a mortal sin brings death to the soul and you don’t want to die with a mortal sin on your soul.
Here are a couple of things about Confession that I think are important to note:
- Confession is Biblical. Christ said to the Apostles after His Resurrection, “As the Father has sent me, even
so I send you…Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” John 20:21-23 In order for the priests to forgive sins, we have to speak them out loud to them so that they can hear them. In 1 John 1:9 we read, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - You are required to confess all mortal sins in confession. Venial (minor) sins can be confessed directly to God, but it is encouraged to confess venial sins in the Sacrament of Confession to help keep you aware of them.
- Christ is working through the priest to absolve sins. When you confess to a priest, you are actually confessing to Christ. As humans, we experience the world through our five senses. It’s good for us to hear the words of absolution.
- Priests are forbidden from telling your sins to anyone. There is a priest that lost his life because he refused to break the seal of the confessional.
- Priests don’t want to know all your juicy stories, they want to help heal you. Imagine hearing all the bad things people do. Do you think priests really want to hear all that? They do it because they know that it heals. They often times say that they forget sins as soon as they are done hearing confessions. It’s a special grace God gives them.
Really, when you look at it, the Sacrament of Confession is so beautiful. Here is a sinner, who has sorrow for a sin that added to Christ’s pain in His Passion. The sinner is coming to confess sorrow over it and to ask for healing. Forgiveness and mercy are showered over them and they leave the confessional restored with grace and strengthened. The outward confession of their sins helps them to be very aware of them so as to help them not commit them again, which is always a good thing. Every time I’ve confessed my sins, I always leave feeling cleansed and renewed.
“Every confessional is a special and blessed place from which, with divisions wiped away, there is born new and uncontaminated a reconciled individual–a reconciled world!” Saint John Paul II
If you haven’t been to the Sacrament of Confession in a while, Catholic Pilgrims, I encourage you to go. There is nothing you could say that would shock the priest and Christ is present waiting there to heal you.
2 responses to “What Happened When This Former Protestant Experienced Her First Confession”
Your thoughts and how you express them in your writing are truly a gift and a blessing, thank you! My first Confession at age 64 was the hardest thing I ever did in my life!! It actually kept me non-Catholic for about 6 years as the prospect was so terrifying. They really need to address it better in RCIA. The hour before my Confession I spent in the nave saying the Rosary, crying and praying for courage. Now I go every week and although there are no mortal sins (thank you Lord for Your Grace!) I always feel like my soul is dusty and in need of a quick shower of grace. 🙂 I am very grateful for a priest who understands. I told him that although I don’t feel like I am talking to Jesus during Confession the three times I feel like I am truly in the presence of our Lord is during the Act of Contrition, receiving Absolution and receiving the Eucharist.
Thank you so much! It was so hard for me, too! And to think that I had ever really confessed anything in my head. That was never hard to me, because well, I didn’t really confess much of anything. I love how you describe needing a shower of grace. It really is such a blessing to be able to go and receive Absolution.