When I was 16, I worked at a mall. One particular evening, I headed from the entrance of our store to the food court for my dinner break. As I walked out, a middle-aged man approached me. He had been standing off to the side, obviously waiting for me. Closing in on my personal space, he attempted to flatter me with totally inappropriate comments about my body and clothes. I was caught completely off guard and didn’t know what to say back to him. I think I just ducked my head and tried to escape. When I came back from break, he was gone…or so I thought.
Later in the evening, the store’s phone rang and I quickly picked it up and answered in my most professional voice. On the other end was the creepy guy from earlier that evening. My heart started to throb in my chest because I realized that this guy was stalking me.
“So, when you get off work, I’ll be waiting outside your store and I’ll walk you to your car,” he said into the phone.
“No, I’d rather you not,” I replied trying to sound unafraid.
“Well, I’ll be there.” Then the phone went dead. I was totally uncomfortable with this situation and, quite frankly, I was scared to death. I knew I could call mall security and ask them to escort me to my car, but I wanted someone else for this situation. I quickly picked up the phone and dialed my home phone number. My dad answered.
“Dad, there is the guy who is totally freaking me out. He is saying creepy things to me and he just called my work phone and told me that he would be waiting for me after work to walk me to my car. I told him…”
“What time do you get off work?” my dad firmly asked.
“Nine.”
“I’ll be there.”
And with that, I was at peace. I had called my protector. He responded with no hesitation, no annoyance at having to make the 30-minute trip. My dad showed up that night with his nobody-messes-with-my-daughter face on and walked me to my car. The creepy guy never showed up, but I was wholly reassured by my father’s love for me in his actions. He didn’t tell me to ask for security so he wouldn’t have to make the drive. No, he answered the call from his panicked daughter and did what he needed to do to make me feel safe…secure…loved.
My father hasn’t been the only protector I’ve had to call on. Many years later, when my family was stationed in Florida, I developed this strange strobing light flashing in the corner of my right eye. It didn’t happen all the time, but it was enough to prompt me to see my eye doctor. I showed up to my appointment, a little worried, but hopeful that it was nothing serious. The doctor came in, examined the inside of my eyes, asked me all sorts of questions, and then with all calmness said, “Well, it could be an aneurysm, but that’s the worst-case scenario.” That was the only word I heard him say–aneurysm.
“So, what do I need to do?” I asked as calmly as I could muster. My eyes were burning with tears.
“Well, we’ll just see how things progress. Shouldn’t be a problem.” He said this as easily and nonchalantly as if he were telling me that my eyes were hazel. He had just dropped the A-word and I was supposed to just, eh, see how things go?
“Should we maybe do a MRI just to be sure?” I asked back.
“No, I don’t see a need for that. If it gets worse just go to the hospital.”
I held it together until I walked out the sliding doors and then I released the tears. A possible aneurysm?! See how it goes?! I wouldn’t have a moments peace until I knew for sure that my brain and blood vessels were in working order. I called my husband at work. Of course, he didn’t answer the phone, so the poor sap who answered got a crying, hysterical woman on the other end.
“I need to talk to Captain Thomas. Can you please find him for me? This is his wife,” I wept into the phone.
I could hear the panic in the young airman’s voice as he answered me, “Yes, ma’am, I’ll go get him for you right now.”
When Dustin answered the phone, I spewed out all the doctor had said in between sniffles and sobs. Dustin remained completely calm and asked me a few questions.
“I want to have an MRI! ย How can you just drop the wordย “aneurysm” and expect a person to go on with their life as if nothing is wrong?!” (I have been known to be a bit dramatic.)
“What is the number to the doctor’s office?” Dustin asked me in a still and steady voice. I gave him the number and within 15 minutes I had an appointment for 3pm that day. The MRI came back negative for any clots. It was a migraine; an ocular migraine. There is no pain associated with it but it can occur when under stress.
I could have demanded the appointment myself; however, in my worry and distress, I was wound up and extremelyย stressed out. I needed calm and steady. I needed my protector. I called my other half to stand in for me in my time of need. He answered the call. He didn’t tell me that he was too busy or that I was a grown woman and I could make the call myself. No, he heard my worry, the anxiety in my voice, and he answered the call to alleviate that for me. He took the call from a dramatic, worked-up wife and did what he needed to do to make me feel safe…secure…loved.
These are but a few examples of the numerous times I have had to call on my protectors. You see, I have this fortified shield that surrounds me. It is my shield of male defenders. When I picture myself in my mind surrounded by my shield, I see my father to my right, my husband to my left, and Christ out in front. There are other men there, too: My brother, my uncles, my grandfathers. ย But, the three who I have called on the most are Christ, my father, and Dustin. They stand ready to guard and protect not because I am a weakling that is fragile and incapable; they do it because their love for me makes them incapable of anything less. There have been many times when they have encouraged me while standing to the side, allowing me to defend myself, but they are always there. I know they are. I feel them. I can feel my shield and it gives me great peace to know that I can rely on them at any moment to protect, defend, and shield.
Men were created for this. Good men desire, in fact, to be a shield, a protector. It is a way, through action, that they can show love. There are times in my life when I just haven’t felt strong enough to handle the things that have come my way, but God placed warriors in my life. We can’t do it all. We shouldn’t do it all. Not only have they defended me physically, but emotionally and spiritually, as well. Good men are called to defend all these areas in those they love. The good men in my life that have always surrounded me with their strength and support are all men of God. Because they have a heart for Him, they naturally have the same desire to protect those that they have been called to lead. A good leader serves. Jesus was the ultimate server and, yet, at the same time, the greatest, most influential leader the world has ever known. My father has served me my entire life with only the unconditional, selfless love that a father can provide. My husband has been the leader of our family, serving us in his unfailing commitment to providing (in countless ways) for me and our children. He is the clay that fills in the holes in the areas that I lack, thereby making us a complete package. My brother has been a prayer warrior for me in my times of need, lifting me up to our Heavenly Father.
It was my father’s job to start me on my path to becoming a good, Christian woman, capable, through confidence, to achieve anything I put my mind to. My husband’s job is to lead me to be the best-version of Amy that I can be. Together, in our oneness, we are to be an example of Christ’s love. And Jesus leads me to Him. Through His leadership, I can achieve more, do more, become more, have more joy, help more people, and overcome any obstacle. I know that I am not alone.
Men, this is your calling and we have sadly told you that it doesn’t matter; that we don’t need you, but, we do. We need what you have to offer. Your daughters need you to protect their hearts and minds and show them they are capable. Your sons need you to lead them to be honorable men with virtuous character. Your wives need your gifts to bring about a home that is filled with peace and love. I assure you, your presence is needed, wanted, and necessary. You have the ability to make everyone around you feel safe, secure, and loved if done with the guidance of Christ.
