Years ago, my husband and I were members of a forum for fans of our favorite sports team--Kansas State University. It's a forum where fans can go to ask questions, speculate about recruits, reminisce about memorable games, and...rant. Ranting is a favorite pastime on there. If we won a game, numerous fans would be griping about how we didn't win by enough or we weren't creative enough with plays. If we lost, well, it would become a rantfest free-for-all. Players were ridiculed to the nth degree and the heads of coaches were requested on medieval pikes. If you even tried to say, "Come on, guys, simmer down a tad," you'd be slayed with word weapons until you were reduced to a pile of rubble. "Real fans," you see, criticize everything because they care so much. okay.
I found myself wrapped up in this world. I noticed that I started looking at players, not as humans, but as a means to an end. I wanted wins! I wanted a National Championship and if a certain player couldn't get the job done, good riddance! If a coach didn't coach a perfect game, see ya! My happiness was dependent on whether my team won on Saturday. If we didn't, I was glum and miserable for days. If we won, I was on cloud nine and all was right in the world. However, I found that the winning wasn't ever enough; I wanted more. I wanted bigger wins! Bigger plays! Bigger bowl games! My ability to be content with getting a W was fleeting. As I immersed myself in this clamor for win after win, I found that I wasn't even really enjoying the wins. I was always fearful of the next game. I was always worried that our rival team would get more glory. I was holding up football as an idol and it was sucking my joy.
One day, I woke up. I was reading the online forum and tons of fans were ripping apart our team as if they were the enemy. I sat there and thought, "What are we doing? This is just a game and we treat it as if it's life or death." For the next few days, I thought about my alma mater and my love of K-State football and I was saddened to realize that I wasn't enjoying it as I should. Instead of a fun sport to watch, it had become the determiner of my happiness, yet I was increasingly becoming more and more unhappy. I was treating the players and coaches like commodities instead of humans. In my eyes, they weren't allowed to make a single mistake or they were worthless. Perfection was the only thing that was allowed. I was ashamed that I felt this way and so I vowed to change my attitude. We canceled our subscription to the online forum and started to decompress.
The First Commandment is: I am the Lord your God, you shall not have strange gods before me.
Have a held up strange gods higher the One True God? Yes, yes I have. In the example above, I held up football as an idol. I missed church for games. I read forums waaaaayyyy more than I ever read the Bible. I looked for fulfillment in football wins. I showed an extreme passion for football whereas my passion for God was a backburner issue. It ruled my life instead of God and it showed in my thoughts, words and actions.
Yet, this isn't the only "god" I've had in my time. I've had boyfriends as idols. I've worshipped at the altar of my own pride and vanity. If I'm being completely honest, I've held my marriage up as an idol. What I noticed is that whenever I've done this, my happiness tanks and I'm restless and not at peace. I struggle to find the joy in those things that I claim to love so much.
We all have idols. The admitting it is close to impossible. Have you tried to call someone out on the idols they have in the entertainment realm? Nothing draws the claws and fangs out like telling someone that they may be giving too much time to entertainment or that certain forms of entertainment are bad. People will defend it to the death and justify their every choice until you are smothered under a layer of justifications. Try asking a die-hard football fan who also calls themselves a Christian sometime to maybe miss watching their favorite NFL team on Sunday and instead go to church. They will look at you as if you have a foot coming out of your forehead.
What's amazing is that when I noticed the idol of football in my life and I decided to change, I started enjoying football so much more. This isn't a blog to discourage ever watching sports again. It's not a blog that is saying to not love your team and cheer for them. It is a blog saying that it's important to put things in their proper place. I still love to cheer for my team and I will always want them to win, but it's not the ruler of my life as it once was. I look at the players and coaches as people and I find I have more tolerance for their mistakes. I still enjoy beating our rival team, but I don't obsess over it anymore. In that area, I learned to order my life better.
The good news is, is that God always gives us the grace to make changes. He will forgive us when we've held up other idols over Him. We just need to be honest with ourselves and with Him. Look at the things that you spend time doing or thinking about. Are they good or bad? If it's something that is inherently bad then you need to work to get rid of it, like pornography. If it's not inherently bad like football, work to put it in its proper place. God doesn't expect us to abandon all that we enjoy, so long as it's not inherently bad.
It never ceases to amaze me that once I start putting God first, great things flow. When I stopped holding football up as an idol, I began to enjoy it again. When my husband and I work to put God first in our marriage, we argue less, are more giving and seem to accept each other's faults and failings with more merciful hearts. When I work to tear down my pride, my days are more calm and joyful. Ordering my life around God creates a real effect on my life. I'm not always perfect at it, but I can tell when something is taking God's place. I get anxious, impatient, and I snap at people more. It can be darn hard to admit it, too. My pride wants to protect me. Yet, I can sense an unrest that I don't like. In those moments, I know it is time to reflect and take stock of my life.
I think a lot of people believe that putting God first means living a life of boredom and Puritanical practices. It doesn't. St. John Bosco said, "The first trick [of the devil] is to make them (young people) believe that serving God is synonymous with a dull life, a life without fun or pleasure. This is not true at all."
When we order our lives to be God first, then family, friends, work, and play, we discover that everything falls into place nicely. When we are tapped into God as first in our lives, we have more love to give family, more generosity to shower on friends, more purpose in our work, and we get more enjoyment out of hobbies and entertainment. When it is flipped around with play on top or even ourselves, our lives become disordered and we coast around desperately trying to seek anything that will make us feel good.
St. Teresa of Avila said, 'Whoever has God is lacking nothing: only God is enough." Find a way to remove your idols and put God first, Catholic Pilgrims. When you do, you will be fulfilled in ways you never imagined.
*I was asked by a follower to go more in-depth with the Ten Commandments. Each month this year I will cover one of the Commandments. Below are previous blogs.