The day I was doing prison ministry, the other volunteer who was there said to me at one point, “You know, it seems like many of the women here have mental issues.”
“Yeah,” I responded back, “One thing I learned through my work is that for many, somewhere in their past, someone who was supposed to love them well, didn’t. That does something to you. Doesn’t excuse the crimes, but a lack of love is usually the root of the problem.”
This reminded me of one of my clients. She was the most fragile, broken human being I’ve ever met. Her parents were awful people, she’d never had a friend, and her siblings were just as broken and so couldn’t be a comfort to her.
She came to me for counseling for past trauma and, initially, I thought I’d help this girl get out of her dark hole and really get her to a point where she was thriving.
I very quickly saw that just wasn’t going to work. Though she was the same age as me, she was more like a child. And though she had been through some of the most horrific abuse, she was so tender and gentle, always smiling a pained smile.
Nobody in her life had ever loved her well. Nobody. So, instead of trying to counsel her, I decided to just let her come to my office and be in a safe environment. (Her dad was always sitting right outside my door.)
So, she came and sat. She liked to color and draw birds and while she colored, I worked on stuff and we just talked about whatever. She always wanted to hear stories of what prom was like or going on a date, since she never would experience such things.
Instead of trying to “fix” her, I just wanted to love her. I wanted to be that one person that showed her love, if only for one hour, once a week.
There are a lot of broken, unloved people out in the world, Catholic Pilgrims. It’s always good to remember, it’s our job to do the Will of the Father and bring light and love into dark places.
Have a blessed Wednesday.
(PS. I worked at a non-profit so my services were free. I wasn’t charging this girl to sit in my office.)
