I have something important to discuss with you all, Catholic Pilgrims, as we head into the weekend and prepare for Thanksgiving.
As we know, when God created the universe, He set it to be governed by laws. Just as there are physical laws in the natural world, and moral laws in the spiritual life, there are, also, pie laws to govern our eating.
That’s right. Pie laws. There are laws that govern the proper way to eat the different pies we make and I’m here to remind you of them since many, my husband included, willfully disobey them.
Pie Law #1
Fruit pies are eaten with ice cream, not whipped cream.
Pie Law #2
Pumpkin pie must never be eaten with ice cream, only whipped cream. This segways into number three.
Pie law #3
Cool Whip is fake. It’s basically whipped up petroleum. It goes against all that is right and good to use it instead of real whipped cream from a cow. I know, I know, it’s easy to just launch the tub of fakeness out on the counter instead of whipping up the heavy cream, but you can do it. What’s five more minutes? A can of RediWhip is acceptable only if it keeps you from using Cool Whip.
Pie Law #4
Pecan pie requires nothing else. No ice cream, no whipped cream.
Sadly, my husband consistently breaks these laws, mostly in an effort to drive me nuts, but I know that’s all part of the man training guys received in shop class in high school. Deny it if you want, men, but I’m on to your man training.
But, it’s his own loss, because in an effort to spool me up he eats pie in an inferior way.
These are the laws, Catholic Pilgrims, I didn’t come up with them, I just try to enforce them.
Let’s try to be better this year and eat pie right this Thanksgiving. 
And for those of you with the cheese on the apple pie habit, well, there’s no hope for you. You were lost long ago. 
