Yesterday, I went to the post office to mail a few packages. My local post office is tiny and always blazing hot, so if there is a line most people wait outside. When I walked up, an older man was standing there waiting his turn. After waiting for awhile, he turned to me and said, “Man, all I need is one stamp.”
I quickly said, “Well, I’ve got a stamp for you.”
He wanted to pay me for it. I had no clue what a single stamp cost but we made a deal, laughing as we joked about me being the outdoor postal lady. He said, “Thank you! You saved me from waiting in this long line.”
“Of course!” I hollered back as he walked away.
As of late, I’ve been sensitive to human interactions. Maybe it’s because we’ve spent two years isolated from each other and it feels good to have these simple human interactions again. But, there’s another reason for my sensitivity–we were two different races having a brief, yet positive interaction. Something the media tells us rarely happens, if at all.
Media and politicians have done a fantastic job of pitting races against each other over the last few years. Now, I’m not naive enough to deny that racism exists, in fact, I have witnessed it. But, looking over my life, I am struck by how many positive and beautiful relationships I’ve had with people of different races. True, I’m just one person and I don’t represent everyone, but I can’t possibly be an anomaly. It makes me wonder if we, as Americans, are being spoon-fed a narrative in order to create division which weakens us.
In high school, I was a 400-meter runner. The main guy 400-meter runner was a black guy named Steven. He was a few years older than me but he took me under his wing. He always had a smile on his face and we enjoyed cheering each other on.
When I was working at the Salvation Army Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Center there was an older black woman who worked there named Nanee. We always had lunch together and she’d tell me about her life. I loved listening to her stories and she’d always give me good advice about God, raising children and cooking. Her peach cobbler was the stuff of Heaven. I’ll never forget how she answered me when I asked her how she made her collared greens so good. She said in her slow, southern way, “Child, you gotta use back fat.” I laughed so hard I about cried. I was not expecting that answer!
I, also, had at that same place two beautiful mentors–Shawn and Alma. One day, I was struggling with my parent’s divorce and Ms. Alma could see that I was barely holding it together. She sat with me and we had a good heart-to-heart. After our talk she came over and said, “Can I pray over you?” I nodded my agreement. She placed her hand on my heart and her other one on my head and prayed like I’ve never heard before in my life. A warmth spread over me and I started sobbing, releasing all my hurt. When she was done, I knew God was going to help me through that difficult time. Ms. Alma’s touch and genuine love for me was truly healing.
And Shawn. I can’t express how much I look up to Shawn. She’s been through some hell in her life but she is a strong, loving woman–one of the best I know. She taught me so much about strength, hard-work, and a positive attitude.
In our time in the military, our family has been blessed to know many wonderful people of all different races. Recently, in Turkey, we were stationed with people from all walks of life and I love so many of them because they are just wonderful people. Sure, their skin color was different than mine but I didn’t care. And I don’t think they cared about mine or my family’s. What mattered was that we shared life together, took care of each other, laughed with each other, and cried, too. Mostly, we cried because of the pain of separation when it was time to move.
One of my favorite people we were stationed with overseas was a guy named Mario. My son thought he was just the coolest. They had this secret “hand-shake.” Whenever Mario would see my son, he would say, “‘Bows for bros!” Then they would bump elbows. I tried one time to do “‘bows for bros” with Mario and he shook his head and said, “Miss Amy, come on now. This is not for you.” It still makes me smile thinking about his sense of humor and his goodness.
Bishop Fulton Sheen once said that “the good has but few publicists.” And it’s true. You never hear about the positive relationships between the races–only the negative news stories. Now, I’m not saying that the news should never cover bad things that happen but when that’s all you show, people start to wonder if this is really how things are all over the country. When all you sample is the bad, the bad is all people see and believe in.
And “if we start with the assumption that all people are dishonest, are we not constantly bumping up against crooks?”
If the media and politicians get minorities to believe that all white people are racist and if white people believe that all minorities believe them to be racist at their core, well, we will cease to trust each other. Which, I believe, is the goal of nefarious people. When we are divided and distrustful, we are easily manipulated. When we are united and strong, we are not so easily swayed by those that wish to have power over us.
“On the contrary, if we believe people to be kind and good-hearted, these are about the only kinds of souls we ever meet.”
I have found this to be true in my life. I have spent my life trusting, for the most part, in the goodness of people. My life has been enriched by many different people that I have had the honor of knowing. Sure, I have been wildly disappointed at times but that’s life.
What if tomorrow the news started showing stories of positive relationships and interactions between the races? How would our perception of the state of things change? It would probably change a lot…and only for the better.
“It is love that needs sampling today, mostly because love does so little advertising of its own. Being humble by nature, like the violet, it is served by few propagandists. It would be well for us, in these days when men look for evil and find it, to look for good and diffuse it.”
Life the Faith boldly, Catholic Pilgrims, and travel well.
