Don’t Be A Kill-Joy Christian

Awhile back, I was doing some fact-checking and I came across a Catholic group that gets a lot of followers. I’m not going to name them because I don’t want to draw too much attention to them, but a lot of you will probably figure it out.

Anyway, I was watching a video by them and they were viciously “calling” out loads of notable Catholics for not “telling it like it is” and “being too soft.” As I watched, I’m pretty sure that venom leaked out of my computer screen. Their message was so hateful, so full of vitriol that I could barely stand to watch them. I’m a people watcher, so I stopped listening to their vile rhetoric and just started looking at their faces and I noticed that they were devoid of joy. In fact, if I just stumbled across the video and the sound was muted, I would think that these were the grumpiest, most sour-apple people on earth.

Nothing about their words, their actions, or their message made me think that they were in love with Christ or their faith. Maybe they are, I can’t judge their hearts, but they’d be hard-pressed to convince me. They are what I call kill-joy Catholics. To be sure, every faith, institution, and organization has some form of the kill-joy crowd.

I know that there are many people out there who make it their mission to rid the faith of laxity or wishy-washiness. They want hard-core believers that follow EVERY. TEENSY. TINY. LITTLE. RULE. like disciplined soldiers. They lurk around every corner waiting for you to trip up and when you do, they jump out with their rule book and declare, “YOU ARE NOT TRULY CATHOLIC! AS YOU WALKED IN HERE, I MEASURED YOUR SKIRT AND IT IS ONLY 4 AND A HALF INCHES OFF THE GROUND, INSTEAD OF 4 INCHES OFF THE GROUND!”

If you dare to try to find common ground with a non-believer, they will verbally slay you as a far-leaning liberal basically sent by Satan himself to lead people off the cliff of sin. Their theory is that you either beat people over the head with Scriptural truth or you are WORTHLESS and SAAAAATANNNNIC!

And don’t you dare crack a smile or enjoy your time. No, no, no! With these people, Catholics can only be SERIOUS! STALWART! and…and…SERIOUS!

You know, I’m all for being obedient to the Church. I like reverence and respect in Catholic Churches. I want the Ten Commandments to be followed. I believe we should not compromise our morals and values for the sake of the culture. I am not opposed to telling someone that they are speaking heresy or condoning sin. In fact, we are called to admonish the sinner, though we are to do with hearts that truly want to help that person’s soul. I, also, believe that we can’t play patty-cake with sin and debauchery. I whole-heartedly believe that, as Catholics, our lives have to look and be different than the secular culture.

My point in all this, though, is that you are never going to draw in outsiders if you are as pleasant as a viper. You will only preach to people just like you, at best. You will turn others away from the faith, at worst. Rules are important, but sometimes you have to gently lead someone to why the rules are important and why it behooves them to follow them.

Our faith and relationship with Christ can’t just be built off of following the rules and being a no-nonsense militant trooper. I know this because Christ condemned many a Pharisee for just being a rule follower. They did all the right things but their hearts lacked compassion, flexibility, and genuine love. As St. Paul told us, you can do and say all the right things but if you have no love in your heart, it really means nothing.

If we want to draw people to the faith, we have to show that it is something that adds joy to our lives. The thing is, is that we don’t have to pretend; following Christ and living out His Will is a great joy. It’s hard, but there is joy found in following Christ. We have His love, His mercy, His compassion, and His generosity all to delight in. We have His wonders to be in awe of, His creation to explore and His goodness to emulate.

When people ask me about any of my passions–my faith, family, K-State, history, friends, or traveling–I get animated and excited. My face lights up and I get very dramatic about it all. It is my hope that you can tell how much joy and pleasure these things give me. My guess is that people wouldn’t believe me at all, if I said with a frown through clenched teeth, “Yeah, I love Jesus so much.” You’d question my sincerity and rightly so.

Sometimes, we have to lay the truth out straight and it can seem harsh to people who aren’t interested in hearing it. Sometimes, we have to stand our ground and defend the sanctity of our churches and our faith. Pretty much all the time we have to fight against sin like soldiers, but it must be balanced with a heart like Christ’s.

St. John Paul II was fantastic at being holy while enjoying the Catholic Faith to the fullest. He relished in living. He relished in loving Christ. He drew people in with his holiness and the joy that radiated off of him. Mother Teresa was the same. Even before I became Catholic, there was something in St. Mother Teresa’s smile and eyes that was captivating. Even though she struggled internally, her closeness to Christ still caused her to shine with joy.

So, remember that when we are engaging people online, don’t be a viper. Remember, also, that not every Catholic approaches life in the exact same way as you do. Some people are gentle; some are more direct. Some people have time for all the Catholic practices; some people are just trying to make it through the day. Some people have stellar prayer lives; some are just learning what works for them. Some struggle with acceptance; some couldn’t care less what people think about them.

My husband always tells our kids (and me sometimes) that it’s important to get people on your side. We do that best by listening, loving, and sharing ourselves with them. Attacking people and hounding them to death has never really been a fruitful approach.

We have much to be grateful and joyful about, Catholic Pilgrims. Let’s not be kill-joys that suck the life out of our Catholic Faith. Let’s be joy-filled and draw others to the faith through our light and love.