I remember it like it was yesterday. I had my hand on the doorknob to my front door, my boyfriend was honking for me in the driveway, and my mom was trying to teach me a valuable lesson.
“Amy, do not go out there if he honks. He needs to come to the door and get you,” my mom said to me as I stood there looking out the window at his midnight blue car.
“Mom, I do not need a boy to come get me, ” I argued back.
“Yes, but it shows that he truly respects you. He needs to know that he has to work for you.” I sighed exasperatedly, swung open the door, and rushed out to hop in his car. I was 16 and what did my mom know?
My first boyfriend was, shall we say, not someone you would want dating your daughter. And I’m being kind. Life lessons are usually learned through failures and difficulties and with him I learned many life lessons. But, it wasn’t until I had my first daughter that I could see things through my mother’s eyes. I could see how she must have felt hearing some boy honk to her precious daughter as if she were nothing more than a “beck and call” girl. She wanted me to be respected and cherished, as all girls should be by the boys they date or marry. She wanted him to treat me like I was a treasured being, because that is how she sees me. And I know that it broke her heart that I ignored her and chose to lower myself to my boyfriend’s standards and not her standards. I understand her now. She always told me that someday when I had a man treat me like I was supposed to be treated, I would realize that she was right. I scoffed at this as a know-it-all teen, but she was right, most certainly right. When I met Dustin and I was introduced to being treated like I was truly special, I fully understood that my mother was spot on.
After becoming a mother, I started thinking about the day when my daughters would have boys showing up at our front door to date them. And I started to panic. I did not, DID NOT, want them to suffer through the things I had to go through with my first and second boyfriends. I began to express my concern over this to my husband. He decided that he was going to “date” our daughters through their childhood to teach them how they should expect to be treated by a man. To me, this was a fabulous idea. Daddies are the world to their daughters and I knew that if Dustin started early teaching them how they should expect to be treated that they would hold his teachings very near their heart. I knew that it has to start early, because once you’ve reached the dating age, it’s too late. At that point, parents know nothing in the teen’s mind.
So, this last weekend, Dustin took Rhianna on a date. They both got all spiffied up for their special “date.” I was working in the front yard, pulling weeds, when they were about ready to leave. Rhianna was standing on the front porch and Dustin came out the front door and said, “Stay right here for just a minute.”
“Why?” Rhianna questioned.
“Just stay right there.” Dustin then got in his car, backed out of the driveway, and took off down the road. Rhianna and I both looked at each other, confused. About a minute later, he pulls up in front of the house and just starts laying on the horn. He’s honking, and yelling out his window, “Hey, Rhi, come on! Let’s go! Come on!”
Rhianna looked down at me in the yard unsure of what was going on. I could tell she was embarrassed or at least uncomfortable. I looked up at her and said, “Do not go to him. He needs to come get you.”
She stood on the porch and yelled back to her dad, “No, you need to come get me.” Dustin turned off the car, got out, and walked up to the porch.
“No boy should ever treat you like that. He needs to come to the door, he needs to meet me or your mother, and he needs to treat you with respect. If he doesn’t do those things, he doesn’t get to date you.”
I stood there watching this exchange between my husband and my oldest daughter and my heart swelled with love for this good man I call my husband. I saw Rhianna look at him with that beautiful adoration that daughters have for their daddies and I knew that she was taking this to heart. I knew right then that her expectations for any boy that wants to date her will be set at the bar that her daddy sets it at and that bar is pretty sky high. Our youngest, Sydney, was watching all this, too, and I know that it was soaking into her, as well. Dustin then took her hand, smiled, and said, “You ready to go on our date?”
Rhianna beamed back at him and answered, “Yes!” And off they went. They went out to dinner and played mini-golf. When they returned home, Rhianna was all aglow. Sydney’s date is this weekend and she is so excited. They so love their daddy-daughter dates. I so love this good man that I married. He is taking my fears and concerns to heart and it gives me so much peace.
To all you daddies out there with little girls–date them. As fathers, you hold your daughter’s hearts like no one else on earth. They cherish and adore you. You are their first protector and they will always hear what you have to say.
“Amy, do not go out there if he honks. He needs to come to the door and get you,” my mom said to me as I stood there looking out the window at his midnight blue car.
“Mom, I do not need a boy to come get me, ” I argued back.
“Yes, but it shows that he truly respects you. He needs to know that he has to work for you.” I sighed exasperatedly, swung open the door, and rushed out to hop in his car. I was 16 and what did my mom know?
My first boyfriend was, shall we say, not someone you would want dating your daughter. And I’m being kind. Life lessons are usually learned through failures and difficulties and with him I learned many life lessons. But, it wasn’t until I had my first daughter that I could see things through my mother’s eyes. I could see how she must have felt hearing some boy honk to her precious daughter as if she were nothing more than a “beck and call” girl. She wanted me to be respected and cherished, as all girls should be by the boys they date or marry. She wanted him to treat me like I was a treasured being, because that is how she sees me. And I know that it broke her heart that I ignored her and chose to lower myself to my boyfriend’s standards and not her standards. I understand her now. She always told me that someday when I had a man treat me like I was supposed to be treated, I would realize that she was right. I scoffed at this as a know-it-all teen, but she was right, most certainly right. When I met Dustin and I was introduced to being treated like I was truly special, I fully understood that my mother was spot on.
After becoming a mother, I started thinking about the day when my daughters would have boys showing up at our front door to date them. And I started to panic. I did not, DID NOT, want them to suffer through the things I had to go through with my first and second boyfriends. I began to express my concern over this to my husband. He decided that he was going to “date” our daughters through their childhood to teach them how they should expect to be treated by a man. To me, this was a fabulous idea. Daddies are the world to their daughters and I knew that if Dustin started early teaching them how they should expect to be treated that they would hold his teachings very near their heart. I knew that it has to start early, because once you’ve reached the dating age, it’s too late. At that point, parents know nothing in the teen’s mind.
So, this last weekend, Dustin took Rhianna on a date. They both got all spiffied up for their special “date.” I was working in the front yard, pulling weeds, when they were about ready to leave. Rhianna was standing on the front porch and Dustin came out the front door and said, “Stay right here for just a minute.”
“Why?” Rhianna questioned.
“Just stay right there.” Dustin then got in his car, backed out of the driveway, and took off down the road. Rhianna and I both looked at each other, confused. About a minute later, he pulls up in front of the house and just starts laying on the horn. He’s honking, and yelling out his window, “Hey, Rhi, come on! Let’s go! Come on!”
Rhianna looked down at me in the yard unsure of what was going on. I could tell she was embarrassed or at least uncomfortable. I looked up at her and said, “Do not go to him. He needs to come get you.”
She stood on the porch and yelled back to her dad, “No, you need to come get me.” Dustin turned off the car, got out, and walked up to the porch.
“No boy should ever treat you like that. He needs to come to the door, he needs to meet me or your mother, and he needs to treat you with respect. If he doesn’t do those things, he doesn’t get to date you.”
I stood there watching this exchange between my husband and my oldest daughter and my heart swelled with love for this good man I call my husband. I saw Rhianna look at him with that beautiful adoration that daughters have for their daddies and I knew that she was taking this to heart. I knew right then that her expectations for any boy that wants to date her will be set at the bar that her daddy sets it at and that bar is pretty sky high. Our youngest, Sydney, was watching all this, too, and I know that it was soaking into her, as well. Dustin then took her hand, smiled, and said, “You ready to go on our date?”
Rhianna beamed back at him and answered, “Yes!” And off they went. They went out to dinner and played mini-golf. When they returned home, Rhianna was all aglow. Sydney’s date is this weekend and she is so excited. They so love their daddy-daughter dates. I so love this good man that I married. He is taking my fears and concerns to heart and it gives me so much peace.
To all you daddies out there with little girls–date them. As fathers, you hold your daughter’s hearts like no one else on earth. They cherish and adore you. You are their first protector and they will always hear what you have to say.
