That’s me in the picture to the left. Yep, there I am carrying around my heaping bag of guilt, while crying about about how unworthy I am. (Sigh) The sad, little Christian lugging around bags of guilt and feelings of unworthiness is truly sad. If only we would let go of our belief in unicor…excuse me…God, then we could be free. FREE!
I’ve read this now in several places from several different atheists and everytime I sit back and go, “Do I have a bag of guilt that I’m carrying around like a miserable wanna-be Santa Claus? Hmm…no.”
“Do I have feelings of unworthiness? Well, yeah, sometimes, but who doesn’t?”
“Do I feel weighted down by the pressures of a demanding, never-satisfied diety? Uh…no.” Actually, I feel more like this picture.
So, how can it be that non-believers think I feel this way when I really don’t? I think we need a fireside chat for this.
(I’ll need you to visualize here. So, picture you and me by a fire. I am sitting in my lounge chair. I have a olive-green sweater on, glasses, loafers, and possibly a bowtie. I’m smoking a pipe, because that’s what people do at fireside chats. And my voice is that of Jimmy Stewart’s. I know, I know, it’s weird, but he has a good fireside chat voice. You are sitting across from me and you can imagine yourself anyway you want.)
(I blow out smoke and contemplate.) “Guilt. Ah, guilt. What is guilt? It’s an age-old question and I’m going to clue you in. Guilt…(wait for it) is the feeling you get when you’ve done something wrong…AND feel badly. Yes, yes, I know, it’s that simple, but imagine what it would be like if we didn’t have guilt. Why, young buck, we might not care at all when we wronged another. The thing about guilt is, it’s a good thing, because it creates in us a desire to change an otherwise negative behavior. It causes us to want to reach out and right a wrong, say we are sorry, and make amends.”
(Okay, I’m back to Amy.) Here’s the thing, as a Christian, yeah, I feel guilty when I do something wrong. Why? Because I’ve just done something to a.) keep me from being the best version of myself and b.) I’ve hurt another. I desire to fix that about myself. Why? Because I expect more from myself. I don’t wanna live with the low bar of expection set at the philosophy that, “Welp, I’m just a human and we screw up and (shoulder shrug) whatcha gonna do?” I believe that we are better than that. I get excited at a chance to better myself and become one step closer to the person God created me to be. So, that guilt doesn’t get carried around, it gets used as a motivator to discover a better Amy, a better wife, a better mother, a better sister, daughter, etc. What would weigh me down is the thought that I’m just human and nothing more.
And as for my feelings of unworthiness, well, I think it’s natural for us to feel unworthy from time-to-time. But, I always remind myself that Jesus died because He counted me so worthy to save. When I remind myself of that, I count myself blessed. And that blessed feeling brings me joy. And that joy makes it absolutely impossible for me, as a Christian, to doubt my faith in God.
Sure, there are “Christians” that get it wrong and go around moaning and groaning about hell, damnation, and being unworthy. But, they have obviously, PAINFULLY, missed the message of Jesus. If He says I’m worthy to be loved, I ain’t gonna argue with Him. But, that doesn’t mean I go around prideful and conceited. No, quite the contrary, I am humbled. I know I sin, I screw it up big time, but like a good, loving earthly father, our Father in Heaven loves us regardless. What child doesn’t feel free knowing that their parents love them even when they mess up? And, just like any earthly parent, God wants us to be all we were created to be and He guides, nudges, and steers us to that place of holiness. We only have to be willing to follow.
So, to answer the question above: Why do non-believers believe that this is actually how we feel? One answer is, quite frankly, they’ve been given a load of crap. They have been taught wrong or read wrong the true messages of Jesus. And I’ll sum up Jesus’ messages in one word–Love. Love more, love others, love passionately, love unselishly, love even when it’s hard, and try love when nothing else works. I don’t know about you, but when I love, I always feel happy, healthy, more joyful, and free.
The other answer, and I’m gonna catch some flak for this, is accountability. God holds me accountable to myself, to others, and to Him. He’ll ask that I give my best in all I do, because to expect less means that he doesn’t believe I can be that person. I desire to be that person. This world needs us ALL to be that person. I guess you can argue that you can get there without God, but who’s holding you accountable? Yourself? I don’t know about you, but I can be pretty lax at times holding myself accountable. I need that ever present voice in my soul urging me towards the best version of myself, but all the while being loved along the rocky road. I don’t truly get excited about feeling guilty. I don’t look for ways to feel guilty just so that I can work on myself. But, I do see it as an opportunity. If I’m open to the constant, loving voice that speaks to me, then I have an opportunity to rid myself of what caused the guilt so as not to do it again. That is something I can get excited about.
