The Five Things I Teach My Kids When It Comes To Truth

“Truth?! Hello?! Truth?! Where are you?”

Apparently, in our day and age, it’s nowhere to be found. We’ve taken truth, smooshed it into a box, buried it somewhere where no one can find it, dusted off our hands, and marched off to immerse ourselves in our world of believing only what we want to believe.

Everyone says they want to hear the truth, but that’s just a nice platitude we say in order to sound reasonable. It seems to me more often than not we plug our ears and chant something similar to Tom Hank’s character in The Burbs: “I’m not going to listen to this. I’m not going to listen to this. I’m not going to hear what you say.”

I homeschool my kids and teaching them to seek truth is one of my top priorities–even if it’s hard, even if it’s painful. I give them examples from my life where I have refused to listen to the truth and desired more to cling to my pride and mistruths in an effort to make myself feel good. Here are five things I teach them when it comes to truth.

1. The truth may be hard to find sometimes, but if we seek it earnestly we can find it.
2. The truth lies where consistency is found. Truth can never be contradictory. Examine the issue, if one argument contradicts itself, toss it away and move forward.
3. In seeking truth, many times we have to remove our emotions.  Emotions cloud and emotions deceive. Those who argue an issue purely from emotion have often abandoned reason. Sometimes, we have to understand why a person is emotional about an issue before we can discern whether they are speaking the truth on an issue or not.
4. Ask questions. Atheists like to peg Christians as unintelligent, brainwashed sheeple. However, our most intelligent historical figures are and were Christians: Copernicus, Newton, Mendel, Lemaître to name a few, but if you need to be convinced that Christians do ask questions, have a look at this list. God is Truth. He doesn’t mind you asking questions and we shouldn’t be afraid to do so. In fact, He wants us to, because it is a way of coming closer to Him.
5. Be humble enough to change your mind when what you once thought is found to be wrong.

If we are unable to speak truth to each other or if we are unable to listen to each other, our relationships are reduced to talks about meaningless surface-level stuff or we will talk over each other’s heads.

If we get offended at every turn, how can we ever have fruitful discussions? Everything is considered offensive these days which, in effect, makes the word meaningless. We have to be a little more resilient and strong-minded than many in our current culture.

If your spouse is unable to tell you a hard truth about yourself because you don’t want to hear that you might need to change, how are you going to grow as a person? As a couple?

If your family member wants to talk with you about the state of our country and you just want to yell and call names, how can we ever work to fix anything?

If we don’t encourage our children to accept founded truth and learn to discern truth, what kind of future are we placing in their hands? I teach them that they can and should listen to other people’s thoughts and opinions, but it is not required of them to accept it all as truth. Take what they’ve said, digest it, examine it, and if you find it to be faulty, off-base, or untrue, you are not required to accept it.

If we simply just listen to what “our political side” says and let them do all the thinking for us, how can we be sure they aren’t just feeding us an agenda? We have the world’s information at our fingertips, yet we are drowning in our emotions and ignorance. When was the last time you took some time and really thought about an issue? When did you last take issue X and reflect, listen, pray, and contemplate it, or even read a non-opinion piece about it? When was the last time you really examined all the sides of an issue without jumping to a hasty, emotional decision? Is it common practice for you to take a moment and hash out your thoughts on the issue?

I’ve noticed in my life four kinds of people:

1. Those that are humble enough to listen to something new that just might make them a little uncomfortable. You can say to these people, “Hey, can I explain something to you?” or “Can I share with you a piece of new information on that subject?” They allow you to speak, they listen and seem to ponder your words. These are very strong, confident, contemplative people. This doesn’t mean that they always have to agree with everything they hear, but those that are open to the truth are not intimidated by it. These people are rare.
2. Those that dance around issues because they don’t really want to hear what you have to say. This is either because they don’t want to get into an argument or because they know what you have to say will make them squirm in their seat. If you offer to explain something, they may even tell you no. I have found that these people live in fear because you will challenge their preconceived notions. Many times, they don’t really know why they believe something and can’t defend it.
3. Those that allow you to speak but are just waiting for the second when you take a breath so that they can offer their rebuttal. They aren’t really listening to you; they are just waiting for their chance to prove you wrong.
4. Then there are those that ask you questions and when you present them with factual, truthful information that runs counter to the mistruth they have believed, they will still choose to believe the untruth. This is a level of intellectual dishonesty and is rooted in pain and emotions.

People who do not have truth on their side will often work to silence the opposition. They will do this by name-calling, using labels, shouting, telling you that you aren’t allowed an opinion. They will work to rewrite history. They will work to remove traces of evidence that goes against what they are trying to push. They will badger and bully. They will be hateful. They will tell you that everything you say is highly offensive, yet, at the same time, they can say whatever they want to you and shame you into tolerating it.

I have been the last three people on my list much of my life. I strive to be the first kind of person and we all should. I work tirelessly to teach my kids to be this way. In these turbulent times, I pray that we all have the courage to seek the truth and embrace it when found. I pray that we go to the ultimate Truth and ask for wisdom and guidance and, above all, humility.