Spontaneity is NOT my middle name. It might be my husband’s, though. My husband is very spontaneous and when we were first together, believe it or not, it was a source of contention for us. He would spring on me a last minute trip and I would freak. What about a plan? I didn’t have time to plan! Plan, plan, plan.
“Did you plan?” I would often ask him.
Casually he would grin and say, “Nope.” This response would send me into a downward spiral and many times put me in a bad mood. How sad is that? I just didn’t operate like him. We needed to pack and plan and make lists and…basically be a kill-joy. In an effort to make myself feel better about my personality, when I first met Dustin, his room…OH MY WORD! An organizer’s nightmare. It was bad, very bad. We needed each other in more ways than one.
Over time, I learned to be more flexible when my husband sprung a surprise on me. In fact, now, I look forward to what he has in store and I don’t fret or get bent out of shape. Dustin gave me a great gift when he taught me that all of life isn’t meant to be planned and organized. Often times it’s the spontaneous moments that are most memorable.
In this week’s reading in the “Hands Free Mama” book, Rachel Stafford talks about the day she spontaneously played in the rain with her girls. They were cleaning the garage and it started to rain. She decided right there to create a moment with her girls and she encouraged them to join her in the rain. At first, they looked at her as if to say, “Are you sure? We might get our clothes wet. Or we might get dirty. Is this planned? Should we take her seriously?” But, soon the girls joined her in the rain and they danced and played. They even saw a picture perfect rainbow together.
I realized while reading this that my children would probably have a similar response. Often times we don’t let our kids be the children that they are. We force them to act in very grown up ways and it snuffs the creative wonder and playfulness out of them. Obviously, it’s important to teach our kids about boundaries and appropriate behavior in certain situations. But, why am I always telling them, “No, we can’t do that”? Every time I play with my children, I enjoy myself. So, why am I so hesitant to let loose in an unstructured way? Why is it hard to step away from the adult things that aren’t that enjoyable?
I think it boils down to the fact I forget that, as an adult, I need to sometimes be a little free and let loose like a child. My children need to see me having fun and being a little unorthodox for an adult. Life simply cannot be all chores, to-do lists, and errands. God gave us this great big playground and we need to relish in it. Playing in life gets us back to center, I think, and keeps life from getting too serious, too bogged down with the details.
“Only the childlike retain the child’s gift of wonder. Wondering, we forget ourselves entirely, lost in what has provoked our awe.” Psalm 8
(By the way, I read the above verse in my daily readings just before posting this blog. It fit so perfectly I had to add it. And I had to smile at the subtle ways God reinforces what we are learning when we grow.)
Traveling back from Kansas this past week, my family spent the night at a hotel. The next morning, my girls were piling up four pillows at a time, then launching themselves from one bed onto the pillow tower on the other bed. I was just about to tell them to stop when I caught myself and told myself to let them be. They weren’t hurting anything and they were giggling and having a great time. I couldn’t blame them for doing it, it did look like fun. I glanced over at my husband and noticed a look of contemplation on his face. Mr. Spontaneity wanted to join in, but, sadly, he was delegated to loading up the suitcases. But, I let the girls leap with unbinding joy until it was time to hit the road. I was proud of myself for allowing them to just be kids.
I’ve decided the next time it rains (and it’s not lightening, of course) I will grab my girls and play in the rain. It sounds like a lot of fun and ever since reading the author’s story, I’ve desired to do that with my kids. I will also make an effort to let them be and enjoy the moments they create for themselves. As for myself, I will continue to give myself permission to play, whether with my kids, my husband, or both at the same time.
What spontaneous thing have you done with your kids that created a great memory?
