I can’t.
When I hear these words come out of my kids’ mouths, I jump all over them. I harp on them about quitting, and not believing in themselves, and having a negative attitude, and this, and that. It’s a rousing speech; one that should go down in the books. But, I realized something the other day…I need to flip that speech right around and give it to myself. Since my children have been in my life, I have uttered these phrases on more than one occasion.
I can’t do math.
I can’t do science very well.
I can’t run longer than 400 yards.
I can’t learn a foreign language. It’s just beyond me.
I can’t get a strong body back after having three kids.
I can’t learn to be patient.
I’m sure there are more, but you get the point. While I’ve been lecturing my kids on the importance of giving your all and believing in yourself, I have failed to be an example. When we are kids, our parents tell us to never say that we can’t do something. “You can be anyone! Do anything!” they tell us. We go all out, don’t we? As kids, we listen to our parents and try to bust through the mental block. We end up surprising ourselves and our parents proudly pat us on the back and say, “See, I told you, you could.” We love that feeling of accomplishment. It feels good to taste that success and it builds our confidence. Yet, somewhere along the way, we cross that line where we forget that feeling and we wind up in the “World Of Can’t”.
Why is it acceptable for us to say that we can’t do something when we get to be adults? Nobody ever says, “Stop saying that! You can do anything you put your mind to!”
No, as a matter of fact, if someone says, “I can’t. I’m getting too old.” We agree and join in with the defeatest mentality.
“Yeah, man. I know. I’m getting old, too.” Mind you, half the time this is said by someone who’s like twenty-something.
When I started homeschooling my kids, I repeated over and over again, “I’m not good at math or science. Your dad will be great for that part.” I’m so ashamed that my kids had to listen to their mom be such a feeble-minded wimp. I’m trying to raise my kids to be independent, strong, determined people and use their God-given talents for good. What message am I sending if I can’t show them how that looks? I see my girls—competitive gymnasts-go out to practice and do stuff that most of us wouldn’t even attempt. They perform in front of tons of people, doing skills that are extremely hard to master. They have to press through fear and pain. They show me up. I should be taking lessons from them.
My oldest recently decided she wanted to learn Spanish, so she just went about finding out how to do that. She practices everyday with a diligence that is impressive.
My middle child ran a 5K with me without having practiced running at all. She just went out and ran. Throughout the race, I asked her if she needed to stop and rest and with a look of absolute resolution she replied, “No.” She ran that whole race without stopping.
The thing is, all those things from above that I said I couldn’t do, I’ve been doing.
I CAN DO MATH.
I’ve been learning right along with my daughter as she has been doing Algebra. I’m getting better. We have contests and sometimes, sometimes, I beat her! There are times when their dad isn’t home to rescue me during math and science time and I am forced to learn it with them. We work it out. We read, we learn, we teach each other. I am getting better and I am gaining confidence. What better way to learn than being thrown into the fire? My crutch isn’t there all the time and I was sick of saying, “Let’s wait for your dad.” I finally decided to say, “You know what? Let’s figure this out.” And we do.
I CAN RUN LONGER DISTANCES
I was a sprinter in high school. Long distances just weren’t my thing and because of that, I told myself I couldn’t do it. But, when my husband was deployed, I needed goals and challenges to occupy my time. I decided that I was going to run a 5-miler. I just decided that it was not an option anymore to say I couldn’t. And I did it. Like I mentioned before, I recently ran a 5K with my family and I didn’t even think about whether or not I was going to run the whole thing—I just did it.
I CAN GET A STRONG BODY BACK AFTER HAVING THREE KIDS
Through lots of effort and patience, I have fought my way back and then some. I am stronger now at 36-years old then I have ever been in my entire life. I am a mother of three and I’m lifting more than some of the dudes at the gym. I can run farther, lift more, and push myself harder than at any time in my life—even my teenage years.
I CAN LEARN TO BE PATIENT
I finally realized that I needed to have a come to Jesus meeting on this one. I needed spiritual help. So, instead of just shrugging my shoulders and saying that I would never be patient, I brought it to God in prayer. I am getting better, even my kids say so. That to me is reward enough. Our loved ones are worth saying, “I can work on fixing this for you.”
The point of this blog is not to brag. It is to say, “What the heck are we doing, adults?!” God has blessed each one of us with talents and strengths beyond our comprehension and we limit ourselves. Why? Laziness? Fear? Comfort? Maybe all of the above? What is the point of this life if we are not to push, challenge, grow, stretch, and strive for more in ourselves? God wants us to become all He created us to be and, yet, we hold up our hand and block the forward momentum. We can do great things, amazing things if we just tear down the gates we have set up in our own minds and give ourselves permission to fight for what we want. As long as it is good and right, why should we hold ourselves back? We cannot allow ourselves to waste away in the safe “World Of Can’t”. The “World Of Can’t” is boring, gray, and crushing. I know, I felt it’s weight: It’s monotonous, it’s life-sucking and I don’t like it.
As long as I draw breath, I want to continually find ways to grow spiritually, mentally, and physically. The more I grow in these areas, the more I can help others become their best, too. We have no idea what we are capable of until we see it happen. We are here to do God’s Will and every time He asks us to do something it will challenge us; it will move us out of our comfort zone. Do we have a mindset that says, “I can do whatever you ask of me”? I want that mindset. I can’t accept anything else; my soul demands more and so should yours. Our kids can teach us how and with God’s grace and help we can achieve things we never thought possible.
Update: I used to say I couldn’t grill. This “can’t” bit the dust, too. Can you say, “Lord of the Flames”?
