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In the early years of our marriage, I used to get so angry with my husband for not seeing the messes and not organizing things just like me.
He would always tell me, “Amy, if you need my help, just ask.”
But, that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted him to see things the way *I* saw things. I wanted him to have my eyes, my brain, my way of being.
I fumed and fumed and then, I realized, that I didn’t marry my husband because he was just like me. It was unfair to ask him to be just like me. I was never going to “fix” him to be more like me.
So, I decided to take him up on his offer. Now, whenever I need his help, I simply ask nicely, and he never denies me. Never.
I can’t even remember the last time we got in an argument about cleaning or helping around the house and all it took was me changing my approach just a tad.
It was unreasonable for me to expect my husband to think as I do. He’s not me. He told me what would work—ask him—and it did work. I just had to let go of my pride and not demand “my way or the highway.”
Not only did I change, but over the years, my husband has become more attuned to the “messes” that need tending to. He takes the initiative more and, in that way, he has made himself better for me.
It’s not our job to “fix” our spouse, Catholic Pilgrims. It’s our job to fix ourselves and be better for them because, honestly, that is the only thing we can truly control.
Have a blessed Wednesday.
Oh, how my hubby knows me so well. Two days ago, I received my birthday present in the mail from him. It is an authentic Byzantine Empire Bronze Cross forged sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries. It's at least over a 1,000 years old. He got it for me for many reasons: 1. Because we lived in Turkey. 2. I love old things. 3. My Faith means everything to me. Before moving to Turkey, I was so incredibly ignorant on how important Asia Minor was/is to our Catholic Faith. Literally everywhere you go, some Saint had been there: St. John, Mary, St. Paul, St. Timothy, St. Polycarp, St. Justin, St. Blaise, St. Gregory of Nazianzus, St. Nicholas, and I could go on and on. There are so many places there that are important our Christian Faith. I compare it to living in Virginia where everywhere you turn, there is a historical marker, even in parking lots, telling you about some important event. This cross was forged by some Christian long, long ago. The five circles are representative of the five wounds of Christ. What I love to think about is who wore it. What Catholic wore this around their neck in another country, another time, with another language, and a drastically different life than mine? Did they ever wonder about who would wear it after them? Could they even imagine it would be an American woman half a world away, over 1,000 years later? Probably not, because they didn't even know about the continent of North America. Jesus sent out the Apostles after His Ascension and their effort is why someone forged this cross and I'm wearing it today. The faith has been passed on. This is why, Catholic Pilgrims, it is so important for us to continue to carry the light of Christ and keep the Faith--A thousand years from now, someone will trace their faith back to us. So, be sure today, to live the Faith boldly and travel well.
Continue ReadingMy maternal grandfather lived in a small, southeast Kansas town. In his yard, he had a big garden and whenever we would go visit, he would take us on the "5 cent tour." My brother tells this story about how one time, he was walking through the tomato plants with our grandpa and our grandpa said, "You know, Michael, a tomato that you buy will never taste as good as one that you grow yourself." To which my young brother said, "I don't know, Grandpa, I think they're all gross." Our grandpa just kind of chuckled and they continued on their way. Years and years later, as my brother was driving down to southeast Kansas for our grandpa's funeral, he was thinking of that conversation. In that moment, it hit my brother that our grandpa wasn't trying to talk about the taste of tomatoes, he was trying to teach my brother about the value of hard work. I've been thinking about wisdom a lot lately and this story of my grandpa keeps popping up in my mind. When he was in the garden with my brother, he knew that he wasn't getting the point of what he said, but he didn't sit my brother down for a lecture and monologue for an hour on the importance of working hard. No, he gave a little laugh and didn't stress about it. Somehow he knew that one day it would all make sense and it did. He probably knew that one day, too, my brother would like tomatoes...and he does. My grandpa was a simple, wonderful man. He was a carpenter. He had such safe, strong hands. He wasn't college educated, he lived in a little town, he wasn't a world traveler, and yet, he had such wisdom. Much like St. Joseph, I'm sure. Jesus, too, taught in parables and while He taught, He didn't browbeat people to death. He allowed His words to penetrate and soak in and that still happens today when we read the Bible. I know that wisdom cannot be attained through noise and bombastic talk. I know this, because three men that I overwhelmingly admire and love weren't that way--my grandfather, St. Joseph, and Jesus. I hope to be more like them. Live the faith boldly and travel well, Catholic Pilgrims.
Continue ReadingIsn't this old Communion Bread mould amazing, Catholic Pilgrims? This past weekend in OCIA, the head teacher and I were teaching on the truths of the Eucharist. As I was sitting listening to Andrew teach about the miracle of the Eucharist, many thoughts were running through my head. I thought back to how the Eucharist was one of the main reasons I converted. I thought about the journey I went on to understand it and how the moment it clicked in my head, I was desperate to become Catholic. Then I thought about how nearly all professed Christians--Protestant, Orthodox, and Catholic--believe in the miracles found in the Bible. Sure, there are some offshoot groups that think they are Christian but aren't because they deny Christ's divinity or the Resurrection. However, if you asked most Christians, "Do you believe that God created the world?" They would say, "Yes." Do you believe in the parting of the Red Sea? Yes Do you believe in God giving Moses the Ten Commandments on Mt. Sinai? Yes Do you believe Jesus walked on water? Yes Do you believe He healed the blind, deaf, lame, and diseased? Yes Do you believe Jesus rose people from the dead, like Jairus' daughter in today's Gospel reading? Yes. Do you believe He Resurrected from the dead and ascended into Heaven? Yes Do you believe in the miracle of the Eucharist? Many would say, no. Many people have told me that the Eucharist is too much to believe in. As if believing that the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity took flesh, was born a baby in manager, was crucified, and rose from the dead after three days isn't too much. That's why those things are considered miracles. They are "too much" for the natural world. Why would belief in the Eucharist be anymore "out there?" God can do anything that is not contrary to His nature and turning ordinary bread and wine into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus is not contrary to His nature, nor is it impossible for Him. In fact, it is the most amazing way for Christ to truly be present to us throughout all time. "And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 Jesus is always with us in a very spiritual sense, but, also, He is physically present, every day, everywhere around the world in the Eucharist. He promised to be with us and He is. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
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