Recently, when people find out I have two adult daughters who are out of the house, I’ve had a number of those people say, “Oh man, I can’t wait till my kids are gone.”
Then I look at their kids and they are little. There’s a lot of years to go and these parents are already dreaming of an empty house.
I remember the younger years; raising small ones and all the effort that goes into it. The days can be long. I understand frustration can make you say things that you don’t really mean.
However, it is a sad thing to me, though, to wish the years away and to wish that someone you love is no longer near. It’s also sad to me to think, “What if this child heard and understood that their parent can’t wait for them to be grown and gone?”
This is a side effect of a culture that devalues children and values “me time” above all else.
My girls left yesterday after visiting for a week and the house is not as full now. It’s exciting to me to watch them go make their way in the world, but watching your kids go is a hard thing.
Don’t wish life away, Catholic Pilgrims. Enjoy your children at every stage because each stage is special and never to be repeated. Life is too short to wish time away so that you can get to a point where the only person you need to focus on is yourself.
The long days, the struggles, the exhaustion will one day, quicker than you think, be a distant memory and you’ll miss those baby days, those chubby-cheeked toddler days, those early school days, those coming-into-their-personality days, those independent teenage days.
Thank God for the here and now.
Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Thursday.
When I was about four-years old, my parents and I left Manhattan, Kansas to head to my grandparent’s house in southeast Kansas for Christmas, I think. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Anyway, it had snowed and the roads were super slick and traffic was bad. Not far out of town, we were creeping along in a slow line when our car was rear-ended. It wasn’t a bad accident, but my dad stopped the car and got out to go exchange insurance information. When my dad got back in the car, he said, “The weather is too bad. We are going to go home and wait to see if it clears up.” I about died. Go home?!?! I had cousins waiting on me! Go home?! I figured this was the worst form of torture imaginable. I felt like I was going to miss out on everything. I hated waiting. We went home. My dad had us all take a nap—a nap! But, when we woke up a few hours later, the skies had cleared, the snow had melted, and the temperature had risen. My dad declared it was safe now. We got in the car and the holiday was saved. Advent is soon coming and the Church asks us to lean into this time of expectant waiting. The Church kinda feels like my dad on the snowy day many years ago. “Amy, it’s not time yet. We need to wait.” It’s impossible not to get swept up in the tide of all that goes on during this time of year. You’d literally have to go up into the mountains and shut off your phone during Advent to truly have a peaceful time of expectant waiting. But, the Church, in her wisdom, asks us to wait because the time isn’t quite right yet. This isn’t a post to fight about decorations or when it’s right or wrong to put them up. It’s not a post to say that, as Catholics, we should grumble around declaring that the Christmas Season doesn’t actually start until Christ’s birth. This is a post to say, carve out some time this Advent to prepare your heart and mind for the coming of our Infant Savior. It’s hard to do, I know, but there is much to be gained in the waiting, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a blessed Monday.
Continue ReadingMany years ago now, when I was teaching government to my oldest, our curriculum had us read St. Thomas Aquinas’ thoughts on different types of government. To my surprise, he said kingship was the best. “From this it is clearly shown that the idea of king implies that he be one man who is chief and that he be a shepherd, seeking the common good of the multitude and not his own.” Now, before I get started, St. Thomas has a lot to say on this and if you’ve never read his thoughts on government, pause and go read it before you attack me. It’s important you understand what he says. Carrying on…. As an American, when I first read this, I scoffed a bit. In fact, I got a bit defensive, because *our* form of government is, in my mind, the absolute best. We fought against a king, for goodness sake. But, as I thought about it (and I’m not advocating for a kingship here in America), I realized that St. Thomas had to be right. He doesn’t say that other forms of government are all the worst, just that kingship is the best, and, of course, because Christ is King. He’s not King of a government, but He is King of the universe, of everything. He is the King par excellence, because He rules with perfect justice and perfect mercy. He is attentive to the welfare of our souls and desires our ultimate goodness. Because Christ is King, no type of rule could be better. No matter how we look at it and no matter what government system we fall under, Christ remains our King. He reigns supreme in the life of a Christian, or a least He should. This is one of my favorite celebrations, Catholic Pilgrims, because I love celebrating the King of my life, always and forever. Have a blessed Sunday. *St. Dominic’s in San Francisco
Continue ReadingToday, the Church celebrates The Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I was thinking this morning about Mary and how she is the perfect feminine role model. As Alice Von Hildebrand put it, “She alone deserves to be the role model of women. She is the Queen of Angels. She is virgin, spouse, mother, and widow.” Who does our culture put up as role models for women? Well, they have to be famous, hot, and wealthy. Of all the ones I could think of, nearly all of them are focused solely on career. They are pro-ab0rtion. Marriage is typically put in the back burner, but they have plenty of partners. Mary, though, is different. She was and is humble. She gave of herself to others. She was and is beautiful because of the light of God that shone within her. She was poor. She accepted an unplanned pregnancy trusting that God would guide her through this unusual, yet miraculous situation. Two thousand years later, this humble, poor, obedient, virtuous woman is still the most beloved of all women. That is because you can’t trump a life lived for God with a life lived for self. The Divine Life that glows within Mary will never be snuffed out, but the temporary sparkle of a life lived for self will fade into nothingness as the years continue to roll on by. May we always look to Mary, most beautiful Mother of Our Lord, for the best example of “dazzling, radiant femininity.” Have a blessed day, Catholic Pilgrims. Mary, Our Mother, pray for us!
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