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Happy Valentine’s Day, Catholic Pilgrims!
I know many “boo hiss” on this day because “it’s commercialized” or because you’re “not going to be forced to celebrate love” or whatever.
But, this day was the start of me and my man, so it will always mean something to me. Twenty-three years ago, we officially started dating. So, yes, I’m gonna talk about luv and all that mushy stuff.
This past weekend, we went to a couple’s dinner at our church to celebrate Valentine’s Day. After dinner, a Catholic marriage therapist gave a brief talk that I thought was very good.
Towards the end of his talk, he said that love is about service and a bond. The most intimate bond we have here on earth with another human being is with our spouse and, yet, it is often the most neglected.
Once kids come, spouses tend to get really good at the service part. “You handle this; I’ll handle that.” “If you pick up the kids, I’ll go to the store.” Amidst all the logistics of raising a family, the bond is neglected.
But the bond has to be tended to. The speaker commented that too often what he sees is spouses that have nailed the service part for years and then the kids grow up and because the bond has been neglected, they don’t know each other and they feel like the love is gone.
He said, “The most important thing, aside from faith you can give your kids, is the gift of them seeing your bond. When they see mom and dad get dressed up to go on a date, when they see you enjoy spending time together, there will be such peace in their hearts. They will trust in their foundation and that is a great gift.”
Serve your spouse in love, Catholic Pilgrims, and focus on your bond with your spouse. You will never regret it and your kids will flourish because of it. Lately, when our 8-year old son sees his dad and I hug and kiss, he loudly sings, “Another romantic moment!”
He notices and it makes him smile. It makes us smile, too.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you love birds out there.
The other day, I got an email from a guy who started off overly cheery. He stated that he was so glad he’d found my site, he loved learning the truth, and was encouraged by how much I loved Jesus. His tone then took a quick turn and he dove into a litany of reasons that the Catholic Church was diabolical. He told me that I was deceived and was going to go to Hell. I appreciated this guy’s concern, but I had to laugh a bit, because all his arguments were things I once believed about the Church. I once said the same things, just not quite so manically. I believed the Church was a small cult. I believed that Catholics thought the pope couldn’t sin. I believed the Catholic Church was a relatively new institution. I believed that Catholics thought Mary was a goddess. I had all these preconceived notions, but I never asked a Catholic about any of it, until I married my cradle Catholic husband. I had been deceived. Everything I had been told was wrong. That was really hard for me because I hate being wrong. Jesus says in today’s Gospel reading, “See that you not be deceived.” I am eternally grateful that God gave me the graces to not remain stubborn and cling to my preconceived notions. I am the type that can really dig in my heels. God knew that the person who would open my eyes would be a man I deeply respect and fully love…and who is as sharp as a tack. He gave me my husband to stand against my attacks and blows and calmly swat each one of them down. I didn’t respond to the guy who sent me the email. He was disingenuous in his approach to me and I could tell, having once been there myself, that he was not going to receive anything I had to counter with. How do we not be deceived, Catholic Pilgrims? We pray, we weigh, we ask questions, we seek out people who know more than us, we don’t make hasty decisions, and we don’t let emotions guide our judgment. It’s hard to do all these things, but it’s worth it. Live the Faith boldly and travel well this Tuesday.
Continue ReadingWhen I was about four-years old, my parents and I left Manhattan, Kansas to head to my grandparent’s house in southeast Kansas for Christmas, I think. It was either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Anyway, it had snowed and the roads were super slick and traffic was bad. Not far out of town, we were creeping along in a slow line when our car was rear-ended. It wasn’t a bad accident, but my dad stopped the car and got out to go exchange insurance information. When my dad got back in the car, he said, “The weather is too bad. We are going to go home and wait to see if it clears up.” I about died. Go home?!?! I had cousins waiting on me! Go home?! I figured this was the worst form of torture imaginable. I felt like I was going to miss out on everything. I hated waiting. We went home. My dad had us all take a nap—a nap! But, when we woke up a few hours later, the skies had cleared, the snow had melted, and the temperature had risen. My dad declared it was safe now. We got in the car and the holiday was saved. Advent is soon coming and the Church asks us to lean into this time of expectant waiting. The Church kinda feels like my dad on the snowy day many years ago. “Amy, it’s not time yet. We need to wait.” It’s impossible not to get swept up in the tide of all that goes on during this time of year. You’d literally have to go up into the mountains and shut off your phone during Advent to truly have a peaceful time of expectant waiting. But, the Church, in her wisdom, asks us to wait because the time isn’t quite right yet. This isn’t a post to fight about decorations or when it’s right or wrong to put them up. It’s not a post to say that, as Catholics, we should grumble around declaring that the Christmas Season doesn’t actually start until Christ’s birth. This is a post to say, carve out some time this Advent to prepare your heart and mind for the coming of our Infant Savior. It’s hard to do, I know, but there is much to be gained in the waiting, Catholic Pilgrims. Have a blessed Monday.
Continue ReadingMany years ago now, when I was teaching government to my oldest, our curriculum had us read St. Thomas Aquinas’ thoughts on different types of government. To my surprise, he said kingship was the best. “From this it is clearly shown that the idea of king implies that he be one man who is chief and that he be a shepherd, seeking the common good of the multitude and not his own.” Now, before I get started, St. Thomas has a lot to say on this and if you’ve never read his thoughts on government, pause and go read it before you attack me. It’s important you understand what he says. Carrying on…. As an American, when I first read this, I scoffed a bit. In fact, I got a bit defensive, because *our* form of government is, in my mind, the absolute best. We fought against a king, for goodness sake. But, as I thought about it (and I’m not advocating for a kingship here in America), I realized that St. Thomas had to be right. He doesn’t say that other forms of government are all the worst, just that kingship is the best, and, of course, because Christ is King. He’s not King of a government, but He is King of the universe, of everything. He is the King par excellence, because He rules with perfect justice and perfect mercy. He is attentive to the welfare of our souls and desires our ultimate goodness. Because Christ is King, no type of rule could be better. No matter how we look at it and no matter what government system we fall under, Christ remains our King. He reigns supreme in the life of a Christian, or a least He should. This is one of my favorite celebrations, Catholic Pilgrims, because I love celebrating the King of my life, always and forever. Have a blessed Sunday. *St. Dominic’s in San Francisco
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