I've decided on a new way I'm going to live out my marriage. Here are my thoughts. My husband knows that I love him. I mean, I tell him pretty frequently, so he should have no doubt. However, I'm gonna propose that I move to a different house. I'm an independent woman and I need my space. I'll be sure to call my husband every night and connect. When we are apart I promise that I will think of him wherever I go--out in nature, in a bookstore, anywhere, really. Then, on Sundays, I'll come over to his house and maybe spend an hour or two. If I've got other plans, though, I may not be able to come over, but he has no reason to worry, I can love him anywhere. I mean, our love is not confined to a house; what was once our home together isn't what defines our love.

I'm sure he will be totally fine with this situation, don't you?

That about made me sick to write what I said above. Even though I'm not being serious, it still made me ill to write it because there is no way--NO WAY--I could ever live my marriage that way. I imagine it made you sort of squeamish inside just thinking of me saying those things. For those that know me personally, I know they were uncomfortable reading it. I said it to make a point. Let's change a few words in the paragraph I wrote above and see how we feel.

I've decided on a new way I'm going to live out my faith. Here are my thoughts. God knows that I love Him. I mean, I tell Him pretty frequently, so He should have no doubt. However, I'm gonna propose to Him that I stop going to church. My faith isn't confined to church on Sundays and it's just a building anyway. I'll be sure to pray as much as I can so that I can talk to God. I promise that I'll think of Him everywhere I go--out in nature, in a bookstore, anywhere, really. Maybe, if I can, I'll go to church, but I may not always be able to make it. God understands, though, He knows how much I love Him. I mean, I can love Him anywhere! My love is not confined to a church; my attendance at church doesn't define my love for God.  

Would you take me seriously as a married woman if I told you that I was rarely going to visit my husband? No, of course not, and you shouldn't. Even if I professed my love for my husband over and over to you, you'd still give me the side-eye and doubt my love. Why? Because my actions tell a different tale. Why would I purposely choose to not be in the place where my husband is if I really love him? Barring absolute necessity, it doesn't make sense, does it?

You know, I used to half-heartedly go to church, if at all. Here's a laundry list of my thoughts during those years.

"I don't want to go right now."

"God actually wants me to sleep."

"I can worship God anywhere."

"Jesus knows I love Him. Going to church doesn't prove that."

"Church is boring."

There are other justifications I made, but for the sake of time, I've limited myself. I didn't quite see the point of church. Sure, it was a place to go and sing and listen to a sermon, but, if God can be reached by prayer anywhere, why do I need to rouse myself out of bed and go to church?

The Third Commandment is "Remember to keep holy the Sabbath."

What did God mean by this? Did He mean that we should go on a hike and spend time out in nature? Did He mean we should sleep in? Did He mean that we should turn on our favorite Christian music and get lost in it? Did He mean that we should watch football games? What in the world could He have meant?!?!

In my thirties, I had to really stop and think about why God would want us to come to church. It was about this time, too, that I converted to Catholicism. Ultimately, it was the pull of the Eucharist that drew me to the Catholic Church. I grew up drinking grape juice out of a tiny cup and eating a teensy tiny rectangle shaped piece of hard bread for communion. It was purely symbolic. When I started going to Mass with my husband, I was appalled that I, a baptized Christian, couldn't partake in communion. How dare they deny me! My husband had to push past my stupid, stubborn pride and explain to me why I couldn't. To be sure, I fought him on it for a long time. "Christ really and truly present? Give me a break!"

But then I read. And then I listened. And I went into the Bible and read John 6. And then I thought, "What if?" And then I learned what the early Church Fathers thought about Holy Communion. Finally, God got through and my stubbornness and pride melted away and I began to understand what was going on in the Mass. When I got it, I knew I had to convert and I finally saw why Mass is so important. Christ is physically present in the Holy Eucharist. He's right there, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. He's there to commune with me and that is profound and mysterious and awe-inspiring and supernatural. He wants to unite with me--WITH ME--in Holy Communion. Once, I got that, how could I ever miss Mass?

To be perfectly honest, I fell in love with going to church. I came to understand that in genuine love, each person must give of themselves. Christ has given everything to us. I realize that when I'm giving my time and attention by going to church, I'm showing my love. It's nothing compared to what Christ did, but I want to show up for Him. It's good for my soul, too. It is my strength for the week.

Yes, I can "be" with God in creation and I can pray to Him anytime, anywhere. We should strive to make our lives a "living prayer" whether in church or not. It is right and good to do all the other things. But, only in Church can I be physically united with Him. After communion, for a while, I have the Divine Life running through my veins. If I truly say I believe in God and if I truly say that I love Him, I should want to visit Him in His house: To praise, to give thanks, to worship with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Our faith is not a private matter; it should not be lived in solitary confinement as many want to do. As baptized Christians, we make up the Body of Christ, which means we are a community. We are meant to commune with one another and worship together. That is what makes us strong and united.

My husband often says to people, "If the Creator of the Universe wants to spend time with you in church, don't you think we should meet Him there? Because that's what He wants. He wants each and every one of us to come be with Him."

My home with my husband is our domestic church. It's the center of our family. It's where we unite together at the end of the day to eat, play, and love one other. We can certainly love each other well when we are apart but there is nothing like being all together. At Christmas, when my brother, sister, and I are all home with our families, my parents beam from ear-to-ear. It is so good to be in each other's presence and be united. No phone call, letter, or text thread can replace us all being together under one roof. My dad once remarked, "When you all are home and the house is full, my heart is at peace and completely happy." I imagine that's how God feels when we come to church to be with Him, only times it by a trillion.

A follower asked me to go deeper into the Ten Commandments and this year, I've been covering one commandment per month. Be sure to check out my other blogs on the Ten Commandments.