On the last day of December in 2015, our family crested the hill to overlook the lights of the city we would be living in--Las Vegas. We had spent three amazing, wonderful years nestled close to the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and now we were to call Sin City our home. It was the hardest military move we've had to date. Our entire family fell in love with Virginia. We had great friends, a great house, beautiful scenery, the quaintness of the East Coast, and historical attractions everywhere. Vegas was the polar opposite and it never quite fit our family.  

Our oldest was a competitive gymnast and, in Virginia, she had found her gym home. She loved her coaches, her teammates, and even the gym itself. It fit her like a glove. It was such a fantastic experience for her and I knew that she would never be able to top it. However, we had high hopes for Vegas. Sadly, though, on her first day at her new Vegas gym, she came out crying. She desperately missed her gym in Virginia.

This isn't uncommon for military families. A new move is always hard and a growing process. You miss the duty station you had before, you have to make new friends all over again, and you feel like a fish out of water for a good long while. "You just need time," we told our daughter.

As time marched on, things really didn't get better. She had a vengeful, spiteful coach, her teammates were cliquey and cold, and fear started to set into my daughter's head because she was losing confidence in her abilities. In Virginia, she had been the All-Around State Champion for Levels 4 and 5 but her new coach was casting doubt in her mind. To top it all off, she got a bad injury that set her back and forced her to lay off for a very, very long time.

Her father and I saw her love of gymnastics slipping away. It was heart-breaking because it is such a love of hers. Many times, we asked her if she wanted to be done and maybe try another sport. Each time, she answered, "No." With such an awful coach and a bad injury, I struggled deep inside as a parent, wondering if I was doing the right thing by allowing her to continue on. She was being berated by her coach and she could barely practice her skills but I had to trust that she knew her limit. She wasn't a little girl anymore and I didn't want to strip something away from her until she was ready. Somewhere, in all my prayers over this situation, I knew good would come.

Every day, our daughter went to practice. Her injury limited her greatly, but my sister-in-law, who is a physical trainer, came up with creative workouts to keep her in shape. I saw this child of mine fight like you wouldn't believe. I knew she was suffering inside but she carried her head high and fought on.

In time, her injury healed, the bad coach got fired, and Rhianna was ready to compete. She went through a whole season and qualified for the Western Regionals Championships. She and I made the drive together from Vegas to Reno for the big day. She competed very well. I'm not one to look at the scores because I like to be surprised at awards time, so I had no idea where she stood in the rankings.

To my great joy, she won her level and was the All Around Western Regional Champ. As she looked at me from the podium, so much was said between us. Her smile said a thousand things. This was her victory and she had earned it through sacrifice, hard work, and tenacity. She had overcome great adversity only to fight through it and come out on top. I realized that through this struggle, she learned more than her dad and I could ever have taught her. So many times, my love for her wanted to take all the pain of it away. But, I also know that great character and strength are forged in the flames of trials and suffering. It's a hard line to balance as a parent.

After that day, she decided to retire from gymnastics. I was a little shocked at first but now when I think back on the look she gave me from the podium, I realize that part of her was saying to me, "I did it. I overcame the challenge. It's time for me to find new ones." And she did. Her senior year, she decided to take up Cross Country and helped lead her team to win the Greater Catholic League Championships.

My middle daughter is running Cross Country right now as a freshman. She's been battling a leg injury that has stumped all the doctors. Like with my oldest, I have been tempted to just remove her from the sport, yet I know better. Here again, I am watching one of my children press through pain and struggle mightily. She is fighting and all the while learning what she is made of. But, here's the thing, she's not doing it alone. Her father and I are behind her 1000% and so is her sister who cheers her on from college. For an outsider, it may look like I'm just allowing my children to suffer needlessly. As their parent, though, I know them better than anyone else. I would never allow them to take on more than they can handle but I, also, know you can't grow without pushing through suffering.

Why do I tell you this story? Because the subject of suffering is a huge stumbling block when talking about God. There are many, many people out there that can't wrap their minds around suffering and why a "loving" God would ever allow it. In fact, I think even for most Christians, the subject of evil and suffering is one of the hardest things for us to work through. It's a subject that's been wrestled with up and down the ages.

For myself, there was a time that I turned away from God because of suffering. I could not understand how a loving God would allow me to suffer. The thing was, was that even when I walked away from God, I continued to suffer--even more so. In fact, nothing made sense.

Recently, many commenters on my blog said that they would never bring children into the world because they could suffer. In fact, they held that they were the more loving group of people because they WEREN'T bringing kids into the world to suffer. Pro-choice people use this argument, too. "We are keeping a child from a life of suffering." Euthanasia advocates talk about how loving they are because they aren't forcing people to suffer. People around the globe are taking their lives because they don't want to suffer. I read about a guy who killed himself because he had gone blind. Suffering through blindness was worse than death.

During my younger years, when I was meandering around trying to make sense of suffering without God, I sunk deeper and deeper down. As Christians, we know that God can make good out of suffering. Why? Because of the cross; the beautiful cross and the sacrifice that was made for us on it. Christ took suffering and made it mean something--our redemption, our freedom, our salvation. He showed us that when we unite our suffering to His, it doesn't have to be meaningless misery. It can work miracles within us or for others. He could have saved us in many different ways but He did it through suffering and sacrifice. See, the world has forgotten that suffering, when united with Christ, can have a purpose. We may not always see the outcome right away but it's there. Our world has forgotten this because it has forgotten God and because it has forgotten God, comfort and pleasure are the only measures of a life worth living.

I have suffered through two abusive relationships, my parent's divorce, and ten miscarriages and other things along the way in my life. Initially, with the abuse, I refused to let God take my suffering and turn it into something good. I didn't think it was possible. Once God finally got through my thick head and stubborn heart, I let Him show me how He could do such a thing. My whole life turned around. It truly was incredible and remarkable. I see now that God never left me in all my dark times. He was just waiting for me to open up my heart to Him so He could destroy the evil that had been done and grow me in love. You see, the evil that was done to me eventually led me down a path where I found my husband. My husband and I have a love that is greater than all the evil that was ever done to me by past boyfriends. My husband and my children are the good that God sent. If I had to go through that suffering all over again to find them, I would. Their love has smothered the bad in a million ways.

We will never fully understand suffering or evil in this life. God permits it because He gave us free will. Free will can be used for bad or good but the choice is ours to make. He, also, permits it, I think, to burn off our weaknesses and, as crazy as it sounds, help us become saints. There isn't a saint out there that hasn't suffered; most suffered greatly and they all welcomed it. Also, consider this: With no suffering, there can be no charity, no courage, no growth, and, ultimately, no love. If God programmed us like robots to do everything right, there would be no actual love in the world.

I told the story at the beginning about my daughter because I wanted to show that suffering does not have to be meaningless. Sure, her sport's injury and disgruntled coach do not compare to the unspeakable sufferings that some people go through. My point, Catholic Pilgrims, in sharing that story was to illustrate that just as her father and I supported, guided, and loved her through it all, God is doing the same for us in every hardship we endure. And just as her father and I permitted her to go through it because we could see how it would grow her in greatness, God does the same thing for us. This is in no way to make light of suffering or to suggest that trusting God through it all is easy. It requires a lot of faith and surrendering. We may not always see the point or purpose behind our suffering, but when we look to Christ on the Cross, we can see that it most definitely can be used for some greater good.