I was perusing my friend's Facebook page when I saw that she had posted something about Pope Francis' response to the Church's sex abuse scandals. The pope's response is an issue for another day. What got steam blowing out of my ears was a comment underneath the article. The commenter stated, "I mean no disrespect but the problem lies in not letting them marry."

What this woman is suggesting is that celibacy is the cause of sexual abuse. She is stating that priests molest because they don't have a wife to have sex with and if they just had a wife to have sex with then nearly all sexual abuse situations would be cleared up. Closely attached to this thought is that priests are lonely for a family. But, it doesn't follow that because someone is lonely for a family they start molesting post-pubescent boys. This myth has been promulgating around the internet and, today I am here to tackle this myth because it's very dangerous. Allow me to explain....

This issue is very near and dear to my heart because my bachelor's and master's degrees are in criminology and I specialized in dealing with sexual crimes. I have worked with offenders, victims, and all the institutions that deal with sexual abuse, such as the courts, police stations, and hospitals. It bothers me greatly when people spread myths (unknowingly sometimes) about this crime because it leaves people very vulnerable. It also sends us on a wild goose chase after a perceived cause when we should be looking elsewhere. I realize that most people aren't informed on this topic because who really wants to spend their days reading about sex crimes? Not too many people are interested in it and I get it. I have to remember to be patient with people, which is why I feel very compelled to make sure we are getting the truth out there so that people can be safe and we can work to correct the problem effectively.

‍So, does living a celibate life cause priests to commit sexual abuse?

‍No. There is no link. Many people think that if the offending priests had just been allowed to marry all problems would be solved. As Trent Horn, a Catholic apologist, states, "It's important to remember that marriage is not a guarantee of sexual purity." If that were true, we would find no issues of adultery, pornography addiction, marital rape (yes, it does happen), or any other sexual deviancy within marriage. But, we do. In fact, nearly every single case I have ever dealt with involved men who were married or had access to sexual relationships. So, clearly, marriage is not a safeguard.

It is extremely dangerous to think that if a man is married he would never commit this kind of crime. It leaves your kids exposed. If you think married men are safe because marriage keeps men from molesting and raping, you will be blind to potential predators. I'm not suggesting that all married men are potential threats. The truth of the matter is that potential threats can come from all walks of life and believing that one particular group is safe is dangerous.

What is the problem then?

‍The problem is people leading unchaste lives no matter their place in life. If you are married, you are called to live chastely. If you are single, you are called to live chastely. If you have taken vows of celibacy, you are called to live chastely. Giving into sexual temptations, no matter who you are, leads to sexual sins. The point is, if celibacy were the cause of this, we would find only celibate men and women committing these acts and that's just not the case.

Now, there is the tendency of those outside the Catholic Church to feel very prideful when it comes to this issue. "This is a problem within the Catholic Church," they say. You can almost sense that people think they are safe because they aren't around "those dirty celibate priests." (Actual words I have seen.) Two points on this:

1. This is a crime where we should be rallying to support and help those that are struggling with this issue, not sneer down at them just because you disagree with their belief system. Pride should be checked at the door. I've seen plenty of gleeful comments almost relishing in the fact that the Catholic Church is having to deal with this problem.
2. If you think that because your kids don't go to a Catholic Church they are safe, you are sorely mistaken and you run the risk of putting your kids in danger by thinking that this is a "Catholic Church problem." I have dealt with offenders of every background you can imagine. Every background. To add to that, I have dealt with cover-ups in all institutions: Police departments, schools, the federal government, and families. It happens in Protestant churches, LDS churches, Jewish communities, and every other place you can imagine. Rich people and poor people are affected. Sexual sins know no bounds. I hate that it touches so many people, but the only way we fix this is by not thinking that this is someone else's problem. "That would never happen in our community," is a dangerous thing to think. This is a human problem. We all can be hurt by it and it's not localized to one certain group of people that we can just steer clear of.

It's important to understand why priests practice celibacy. It's not some arbitrary rule the Catholic Church imposes on priests. It's not a dogma of the Church. It's a traditional discipline that priests practice to imitate Our Lord. Christ Himself was celibate because His purpose was to give His life for all of us and bring about our salvation. "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." --Ephesians 5:25. Numerous times in the Bible, Christ is referred to as the bridegroom and the Church the bride. If Jesus had a real wife, it would make sense to mention her here and use their marriage as an example. Priests in the confessional and at Mass act "in persona Christi" which means "in the person of Christ."

"An essential principle of the ministerial priesthood is that God works through men who have a special spiritual role within the Church to communicate his grace and truth." --Catholic Answers

Priests take a vow of celibacy and are married to the Church. They are to give their life for her, meaning us, the baptized. Priests are on call 24/7. I spoke with our priest one time and in one day he had performed a baptism, met with an engaged couple, been to the hospital to administer the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, and done numerous other things. I'm a mother and wife and I can't imagine being accountable to hundreds, if not thousands, of other people, as well as my family.

"Okay," you say, "but Protestant ministers are married and they still serve their congregations." True and most do a very good job. However, a minister at some point has to go home to give time to their wife/husband and kids. Our spiritual needs don't stop at 5:30 pm when it's time to close up shop for the day. You can still give to both your family and the church; it's not out of the realm of possibilities. However, I'm very grateful that priests sacrifice marriage for the Church. I'm impressed with their discipline and willingness to give up family life for the good of the lay people. Their desire to imitate Christ is admirable.

It's important to note that no one in the history of the world ever died from not having sex AND having sex with a spouse is not a safeguard against one committing sexual crimes. Also, it's important that the leader of the Church not be a member of the dating pool. It's never good for women to be vying for a religious leader's eye. I can imagine that numerous single women would move to Duluth, Minnesota to grab the attention of Fr. Mike Schmitz if priests were allowed to marry. My husband said that when he was growing up there was a good-looking priest at one of the churches he attended. All the women called him "Father What-A-Waste." Imagine all the drama if he had been an open prospect for marriage. You don't really want priests dating the flock they are shepherding and having break-ups, heart-breaks, and possible scandal. There would be jealousy among rival women and hurt feelings if rejected. It's just bad all around. You don't want to go into the confessional and have the priest thinking about whether or not a woman would be a great catch or not. It's so much better not to worry about that and all the drama that comes with it.

The last point to bring up is that nearly all these cases that are being uncovered are from the past. And when I say the past, I mean decades ago. I do not make light of this in any way, but I bring it up because in 2002, the bishops put in reforms to tackle this problem and there is evidence that the tide is turning. If celibacy were the problem, we would continue to see these problems emerging, but we are actually seeing improvement which is what we want to see. Nearly all these cases that have been unearthed are pre-reform and I am hopeful that the Church's reforms are moving us in the right direction. There is still much to do and it doesn't discount what happened to the victims of these crimes, but at least reforms are happening.

The Church uses an outside auditing agency to check on things and their reports don't show that things are perfect, which is why we, as the lay people, need to make sure we are holding them accountable. It's one of the things we can do.If we continue to believe this myth that celibacy is what causes sexual abuse we will be chasing after the wrong culprit. The problem lies in living unchaste, sinful lives and anyone can fall into sexual sin, priest or not. The most important thing is to be on our guard, know the warning signs, and educate ourselves and our children on the facts of sexual abuse.