Tonight, I mindlessly looked out my living room window for about 30-minutes trying to figure out how to start this blog. Honestly, what more can be said on the topic of abortion that hasn’t already been said? Is there anything new I could possibly bring to the conversation? Don’t I wish I had the magic words to change pro-choice people’s hearts? I sure do, but I’m beginning to realize that I can only guide myself and my family.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about how my first daughter was born out-of-wedlock when I was still in college. When I went to get a pregnancy test at the college clinic, the lady who worked there suggested I get an abortion. I obviously didn’t heed her words. This post really resonated with a lot of people, which gives me hope for the future of our country. However, I did get one woman who said, “Glad you made the choice that was best for you.”
To which I said, “Actually, I did what was best for my daughter. She deserved to live no matter the circumstances.” She then passive-aggressively informed me that I was arrogant for holding that belief.
Arrogant? Does that make sense? Is it arrogant to think people should live? Let that one soak in.
Recently, the Kermit Gosnell movie came out. I followed the case when Mr. Gosnell was being arrested and tried back in 2015. Now, the movie on the events has come out and has done exceptionally well and, yet, theaters are removing it. We all know why and it just affirms how right the pro-life movement is. You don’t try to hide, cover-up, and ignore things you know are right.
So, I sat my two teen daughters down this week and we talked about the Gosnell case. As I was explaining what went on in Mr. Gosnell’s facility based off the Grand Jury report, their faces coiled in disgust. My 13-year old asked how people could perform abortions and I said, “I honestly don’t know, honey. I truly don’t. It’s beyond my ability to understand.”
“Here is what I do know. The pro-choice side is very ugly. Look at the words they use: ‘Not human, a clump of cells, unwanted, parasite, mistake, and burden.’ They have to use euphemisms to cover up what is really happening. They use the word ‘abortion’ instead of ‘killing’ because saying what it truly is would mean they’d have to face the reality of the situation. They want to get rid of movies that show people the horrors of abortion. They promote the philosophy of me, myself, and I.
Contrast their words with the pro-life side. ‘Life, baby, giving, precious, important, human, worth, and dignity.’ We are not here on this earth to think only of ourselves. Our lives are meant to be a gift to others and sometimes that means sacrificing. Our lives are supposed to bring goodness, truth, and beauty into a very dark place. You know, people sometimes make poor choices and get pregnant out-of-wedlock or when they are teens and it’s hard. No doubt it’s hard. It is scary, I know. Yet, these are the times when we dig deep and rise to the occasion. This is when we strive to take a bad situation and turn it into something beautiful by bringing a new soul into the world. We don’t ever want to be the type of people that decide that certain groups of people are unworthy to live. All people have dignity and worth in the eyes of God and that’s how we need to see people. I want you girls to always bring more light, more positivity, more hope, and more love to this world. I want you to remember to be merciful and compassionate to those that have had abortions. They were fed a heap of lies and they are more than likely badly hurting. Fight against the message and the culture that propagates this evil message, but be loving to those that have been hurt by the message.”
I told my oldest about how the lady at the college clinic suggested abortion when I found out I was pregnant with her and how I rejected the offer.
She looked me straight in the eyes, smiled, and said, “Thank you.”
I struggled to say back, “You’re welcome.” Afterward, I thought a lot about why it was so hard for me to say that back to her and I think it’s because no child should ever have to thank their parent for letting them live. A parent should always do whatever they can to care, nurture, and protect their children. Children’s lives should never be viewed as a choice, no matter how small. With regard to my daughter, there was never any choice. Why? Because she is a human, a beautiful soul. I don’t have the authority or power to decide her fate, nor do I want to, because she is a gift. Just like I am a gift and you reading this are a gift. She is mine to love and every step of the way during her life, I must strive to always show her that she matters, that she’s here for a reason, and that I’m grateful for what she brings to my life. It’s the same with my other two kids. They are treasures. Someday, when my son is old enough to understand, I’ll have conversations with him, too. Like I said in the beginning, I don’t know that I’ll change anyone’s mind who is already committed to the pro-choice side. I only have control over this little tribe of people who I hold dear and I want this family to be better than the culture. I’ll be honest with my kids about abortion and I’ll give them all the information on it from the religious, scientific, and moral arguments. I guess I’ll work to change the culture by making sure this family is one of truth, goodness, and love.
As Respect For Life Month comes to an end, our prayers for abortion to end should not cease. Keep in your prayers those on the pro-choice side. May they come to value all human life, especially those that haven’t yet made their appearance into the world but deserve to do so.
10 responses to “A Late Night Conversation With My Teen Daughters About Abortion”
I have a huge issue which side I stand on if you can pick a side? I’ve done an abortion once, the hardest choice I’ve made in my life and Lord knows that I have regretted it so many times but still if I hadn’t done it I wouldn’t have my daughter today? I want to believe that God gave me a second chance by giving me my daughter, the pain and the sadness I went through when I had my abortion is beyond words. I regret it but still I don’t regret it! My daughter is also born out of wedlock (I live in Sweden practically no one is getting married here) but when I got pregnant with her I told my boyfriend (now we are married) that I would never go through an abortion again (she was not planned) I think it’s every women’s choice of their own but you should really know the psychological pain you go through when doing an abortion! I would never judge a woman that go through an abortion but I would never do it again!
I’m sorry you had to go through such a painful experience. There are many hurting ladies out there and I truly do sympathize with your pain.
But, I would have a couple of questions for you. 1. Why would you never do it again? 2. Why would an abortion bring about psychological pain? What specifically about it brings about that pain?
I think it’s also important to realize that you cannot regret and not regret a decision. That’s a contradiction. Something can’t be a regret and not a regret at the same time. You can still be grateful for the life of your daughter and feel like God gave you a second chance and still regret an abortion.
We are allowed to judge people’s actions as morally wrong or not. We do it all the time and we have to or we would live in chaos. If a person were to steal something, you would never say, “Well, I wouldn’t steal, but I certainly would never judge a person who does.” Of course, you would and you should, because stealing is wrong. What we can’t do is judge a person’s soul, because, as humans, we are not privy to all the information about the person and the circumstances. Only God can judge a person’s soul because He alone knows all. What we can do, is judge actions.
I pray that you find healing and I’m glad you wrote. I know it’s not easy for you. God is merciful and He will forgive all wrongs if we only ask.
Well I can only answer for my self but I think the answer on the questions is that I haven’t figure out were I have God?
I’m raised in an atheist home, my husband is atheist, my friends (most of them) are agnostics and I live in one of the most unreligious countries in the world.
I was an atheist once and I think that the struggle is that the way of my “atheist living” is now hard to see that God can forgive and the struggle of have lived “the wrong life” But as I said this is only what I think and if it’s right or wrong way to think I don’t know but it’s a long life road to go through 😀
That was a very honest answer. It makes me sad that so much of your country is nonreligious. That would seem very bleak to me. I think, though, you are searching for God and I truly hope you find Him. I promise you, God is bigger than any wrong thing you’ve done and more than anything He wants a relationship with you. That’s why He died on the cross, to overcome sin and death and to show us His love. We all do wrong things. I know that atheists like to think that there is no one wrong way or one right way, but that isn’t true. To say there are no absolute truths is a huge contradiction because right there they have just stated that it is true that there are no absolute truths. We all know deep down that certain things are right and certain things are wrong. It’s okay to acknowledge that certain things are wrong. That is healthy. It’s also okay that if you’ve done a wrong thing in the past, to now condemn that action. I promise you, I have done many wrong things in my life and I realize the wrongness of them. I make sure to tell my kids why it was wrong and that I don’t want that for them.
Ellie, if there is anything I can do to help you, I will do my best. If you have questions about God, I’d be happy to answer them. More than anything, I hope you know that God loves you more than you can imagine and He wants to heal any hurt you have. This Catholic life is a beautiful one, full of joy. Though we may suffer and struggle and life may not always come easy, Christ gives us hope, purpose, and the strength to withstand anything that comes our way.
Thank you so much ❤❤❤ I try to live my life as good as I can and when christ came to me a few years ago my life actually became better but of course It’s a long life struggle 😀 I try to teach my child the Christian way of living and I am supported by my husband so even if he is an atheist we manage to have a good marriage. I have met some new friends through a Christian page on Facebook and we are meeting for coffee next week and it’s gonna be so much fun. Thank you so much for your support your page and blog us truly an inspiration God bless you and your family
I’m so glad to hear that you are finding a Christian community. I’m so glad your husband is supportive of you, as well. Keep in touch and let me know how your faith journey is going. God bless.
Your post made me a little teary-eyed and amazed at your courage as a college student– life is a gift — as your daughter is truly a gift from God. Blessings & hope – Virginia
Thank you so much. I wasn’t living my life as a Christian very well at that time and I’m so grateful God gave me the wisdom to see that abortion can never be an option.
Tear streaming down my face when I read your daughter’s reaction. A beautiful and brave post. #ProLife
Thank you so much. I teared up writing it. 🙂