Why I Love Being Married

Dustin and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary this coming Monday.  Each year of our marriage has brought new joys, new challenges, new growth for both of us, and, yes, sometimes sadness.  Through these years, I have only grown in my wonder for the beautiful sacrament of marriage and I feel blessed to walk this life by Dustin’s side.  Here are 10 things I love about being married in no particular order.

1.  THE MOMENTS MEANT FOR JUST US.  This is going to sound crazy, but while I loved our wedding day, it is not often the day I reflect back on most.  That was just one day in our history together and, sadly, it goes by in a whirl-wind.  I swear it’s the quickest day of your life.  You get dressed, you have the ceremony, you socialize with all your friends, you hopefully get a dance together, and then it’s over in a flash.  I cherish that day because it’s the day Dustin and I became us.  Yet, more often than not, I dig into my heart for those tender moments that really only mean something to him and me.  The “our” moments.  They are the moments that bind us and create our story.

2.  WE ARE KEEPERS OF EACH OTHER’S SOULS.  I didn’t know this when we first married.  I didn’t understand the magnitude.  Marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church and as we’ve grown in our understanding of marriage and all that it entails, I’ve come to see that Dustin and I are to mirror Christ’s love.  It really is a beautiful teaching.  My job, as Dustin’s wife, is to guide him to heaven.  He is to do the same for me.  We do that by offering each other the kind of unconditional, sacrificing, forgiving, selfless love that Christ offers us.  When we do this only blessings flow.

3.  WE ARE ENTRUSTED WITH THE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN.  Our kids are products of our love.  They are the best of both of us wrapped up in these funny, intelligent, innocent, loving children.  They are our legacy.  They are the greatest gifts we can give the world.  We are their first teachers and their first understandings of love and life.  It’s a hefty job, but the joy our children give to us cannot be measured or truly explained.  We have created a family spiritually held together by the commitment Dustin and I have to each other.

4.  WE ARE STITCHED TOGETHER.  Our wedding and union together bound us.  It’s like on that day, God took out his threading needle and stitched our souls together.  But, not with thread.  He stitched us with a mysterious material only God could create.  To realize that we are two people but one flesh, is remarkably supernatural.  The peace and joy it brings me is ever present.  I can feel this “thread” burn when Dustin is not with me.  It’s like it calls out to him, searching for him.  And when he is near and with me, I am content.  I love this about marriage, because it is evidence to me that there is something more powerful at work here than just things of this earth.

5. IT MAKES US BETTER PEOPLE.  If we do it right.  If we buy into the philosophy that we should give ourselves completely to our spouse.  When I focus on Dustin and not myself, I become better.  When he focuses on me, he becomes better.  And in that outwardly focus both of us get our needs and wants met.  Marriage is about sacrifice and whenever we sacrifice, selfishness is weeded out of us.  This is a good thing.  The more I give of myself to Dustin, the more blessings I receive in return.  In every way, this makes us better: More patient, more kind, more giving, and more loving.  That is what true love is; denial of self for the betterment of the one you love.  Yet, we are returned the gift when we shower it on others.

6.  THERE IS SOMEONE THERE FOR THE UPS AND DOWNS.  Marriage is hard work, which means it’s worth it.  Anything that asks your all has to be worth it.  Faith is this way.  Raising children is this way.  Marriage is this way.  Dustin is there with me on days that are so-so.  He is there on days that are dark.  He is there on days that are brighter than the sun.  No one here on earth sees you like a spouse does.  This creates a connectedness that you don’t share with anyone else.  Like the song says, “God gave me you for the ups and downs.”  This is one of our greatest gifts as a spouse: To relish in the ups and to be a comfort in the downs every single day.  I like being Dustin’s safe place to land.  I love being the arms that he comes home to when life is good or bad.  I get to be his strength and his refuge.  I am honored to be so lucky.

7.  WE CHALLENGE EACH OTHER.  Marriage is not meant to be stagnant.  We should not look like the same couple now as we were 13 years ago.  I have seen us change for the better.  Each year of our marriage we have found ways to challenge each other whether it be in the mental, physical, or spiritual realm.  I delight in watching Dustin grow into a better man.  We see each other struggle through these challenges like no other person can.  We learn how to read each other; to know when the other is needing a boost or encouragement.  There is no jealously here, no spitefulness.  I am free to fully reach my potential with Dustin’s help because in no way does he measure his success against mine.  In fact, just like my children, I want him to do better than me.  I know he wants the same for me.  It’s nice to have each other’s back.

8.  WE LEARN FROM EACH OTHER.  Dustin is gifted in areas I’m not (SCIENCE! MATH! PATIENCE!).  Likewise, I have gifts that he doesn’t possess.  Dustin has taught me so much in our short 13 years together and it’s only expanded and added to who I am.  I hope I’ve done the same for him.  One of my favorite things we do is share what we are currently reading with each other.  Dustin sees things in a totally different way than I do a lot of the times.  This helps me to think outside my standard thoughts and consider ideas in a new light.  Sometimes, I get defensive and don’t want to listen.  Yet, when I let my guard down and truly listen and try to understand, we both win.  I may not always agree, but at least I’ve contemplated things and really thought the matter over.

9.  I GET TO HAVE FUN WITH MY BEST FRIEND.  Dustin and I have a lot of fun together.  We enjoy trying new things together, experiencing new adventures, and finding the positive in any given situation.  We have so many memories already that I can’t even fathom what it will be like at our 50th anniversary.

10.  I ALWAYS HAVE A HOME NO MATTER WHERE I AM.  Dustin is my home.  In his heart is where I live.  I took up residence there 14 years ago and have only grown more rooted there.  When I think of myself, Dustin is just an extension of me.  You can’t have me without him.  We don’t have a fairy tale story, we have something better.  Fairy tales are superficial.  They lack depth.  True love, honest-to-goodness true love is a little messy; it is filled with faults and mistakes, high and lows.  Even with all this, we still return to each other every day.  I’m not in a fancy dress twirling around in joyful bliss; sometimes I have mascara running down my face as I try to get ready before one of our kids needs me.  He is not on a white horse galavanting around the country side look for his lady fair; sometimes he is tired and worn after a hard day’s work.  Sometimes we barely get to gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes; many days we just exhaustedly hit the bed at the end of the day and clasp hands before we drift off to sleep.  But, I always know that with him, I am home.  Through marriage, God grants us a peek into what heaven is like.  The way I feel at home in Dustin’s heart is one bit of evidence that heaven is real and true.   And when we have God at the center of our marriage, extraordinary things happen.

What do you love about marriage?