Matthew Kelly

Dropping the Chains That Bind Us

You know something I like to do frequently?  I like to think I’m pretty awesome.  In my defense, I do it mostly subconsciously.  Okay, maybe not mostly subconsciously.  Alright, alright, not at all.  I know full well that I consciously think that I am better than “that person over there.”  That darn humility train is a tough one to stay on.  But, this past Sunday, I got a good dose of humility.

As Catholics, every Palm Sunday we read the Lord’s Passion.  The parishioners play the role of the crowd in the story.  It’s an emotional reading for me, cause you have to yell out, “Crucify him!” when Pontius Pilate asks the crowd what should be done with Jesus.  It’s hard to yell out those words and it makes me sick to my stomach.

After the reading this last Palm Sunday, the priest gave his homily.  The first question the priest asked us was, “What character are you in the Lord’s Passion story?”

“Are you Peter?  Have you denied the Lord in your life?”

Well, yes, in many different ways I have.  I have denied Him access in my life.  I have denied Him in my silence when I needed to stand up.  I have denied Him when I have turned my back and basically told Him that I don’t need Him at all.  When I was 17, I cursed Him one lonely night on a football field and shouted, “Thanks, but no thanks.  I’ll take it from here.”

“Are you the Pharisees and Sadducees?  Have you refused to recognize the Son of God?  Have you believed that you are righteous just because you follow the rules?”

Ugh.  Yes.  I have refused to see the blessings that flow from Jesus.  I have wounded others in my quest to prove that I am more righteous than they are, which is far from loving.  I have lost friends over my righteous attitude and knifed family members in the soul–not my best moments.

“Are you like Simon?  Have you helped the Lord carry the burden of the cross?”

At times in my life, yes, but not as often as I should.  I am to be His hands here on earth, relieving others of their burden, just as Simon tried to help relieve the heaviness of the cross for Jesus.  My work at the Salvation Army gave me great opportunities to try and lift burdens.

“Are you like Judas.  Have you betrayed the Lord?”

In the way that Judas did, no.  But, I’m still too scared to search my soul for other ways I have betrayed Him.  But, maybe it connects with the next question.

“Are you like the crowd, yelling to crucify Him?”

While I have never yelled those searing words and meant it, my actions, at times, have yelled that.  It is our sins that nailed Him there.  Not just the sins of those before His crucifixion, but my sins hung Him from that cross, too.  He suffered the most painful of deaths for me.  That is a hard, hard pill to swallow.  I had never identified myself with the crowd.  I had always looked at them with a sort of disgust.  They were “those” people.  I fool myself into thinking I am not like them and, yet, I am.

“Are you like the women who wept at the foot of the cross.”

Yes.  But, I need to find myself there more.  Their unfailing devotion is captivating and admirable.

I have been all these people at different times in my life.  Humility coursed through me as I realized that I play these roles, too.  One could argue my actions were not as blatant, but I sure don’t need any rationalizing pats on the back.

Rest assured, the priest didn’t leave us sitting there stooped over with the weight of all our sins.  On the contrary, he told us to have joy!  Excuse me?  Joy!?!  After that talk?  He then went on to say that while we may identify with each of these characters at different times in our lives, we can always replace our sins with virtues.

The priest is right.  All too often, we wake up and say, “Okay, how can I not sin today?”  This gets to be daunting and seems to bind us in chains.  We go around saying, “Don’t sin, don’t sin, don’t sin” and we are left with a Pharisee-like attitude.  When I read about the Pharisees, it’s hard to detect any joy radiating off them.  We, too, work so hard to stay away from sin and our vices, that we are constrained by them.  A good mental picture is Jacob Marley dragging around the heavy chains and iron boxes of his sin.

There is another way to think about this, though.  The priest encouraged us to replace our vices with virtues.  I find it easier to wake up in the morning and say, “How can I bring more love into the world today?”  That enlivens me.  That fills me with joy.  The chance to not dwell on the areas that I fail, but to focus instead on the areas were I am gifted and can spread goodness is very freeing.  Honestly, it’s uplifting to approach your day with the intentions of spreading goodness and love.  Christ doesn’t want us walking around with a down-trodden, beaten outlook on life.  Of course not!  He died so that we might live in his love and joy forever.  We should be walking around with joy emanating from us.  That joy is contagious and desirable.  Focusing on growing in virtue will push vice and sin out.  Not that we won’t ever sin, but it’s awfully hard for darkness to creep in when you are radiating light.

Each Lent I learn a new lesson.  God gifts me during this time with some way to improve myself.  I can shed some negative aspect of my character and replace it with a more becoming quality.  Looking at Judas and Peter it is easy to see how this works.  Both of these men betrayed Jesus in their own way.  Once done with his dirty deed, Judas regretted his decision and wanted to give the blood money back.  The damage was done, though, and the chief leaders disrespected and dismissed him.  In the readings, you see Judas consumed by his deadly sin.  He can’t get over it and so he succumbs to his sin and kills himself.

Peter, on the other hand, immediately recognizes his sin of denial and feels profound remorse.  Yet, he doesn’t allow this sin to bind him in torment.  No, quite the opposite.  He becomes the “rock” that Jesus builds his Church upon.  He replaced his sin of betrayal with the virtues of charity, diligence, humbleness, and fortitude.  He found renewal in spreading the love and news of Jesus.

The lesson I learned is that we should, obviously, always be on the look-out for sin in our life.  When we find it, recognize it, ask for forgiveness, and seek positive ways to replace it.  While my sins may not be the same as someone else’s, my lofty attitude doesn’t do me or others any favors.  In my refusal to see my failings (that plank in my eye) I hold myself back from being a better me.  So, I finish this Lent with a joyful spirit of renewal; face my sins and attempt to exchange darkness with light–just another step towards who I was created to be.  That is a reason to smile and be filled with joy.  Happy Easter!

“Joy is one of the best safeguards against temptation.  The devil is a carrier of dust and dirt and he uses every opportunity to throw what he has at us.  But a joyful heart protects us from this dirt.  That is because Jesus is there in our joy.  Jesus takes full possession of our soul when we surrender to him joyfully.”  –Mother Teresa

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